Love's Slave

It may not surprise you that I can feel you

5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The thing that stuck out to me most was your flawless word choice. I could tell you took your time picking words that would fit in perfectly and it truly made the poem a masterpiece for me. Your flow was great and nothing seemed out of place or forced. I loved the message behind you sentences because it made me think and want more at the end. Your use of imagery was great in creating the scene in my mind and this was a unique poem that I truly enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing.

"The grieving and shrieking will make any want more"
^wow flawlessly written and well said!

Well done. :]
*5/5*

"Gasping and Collapsing as one bows and kneels"
Gasping and collapsing as one bows and kneels

I think the title is meant to be "Loves Slave" because Love isn't a noun (in any case, I'm pretty sure) so it means "Love is Slave".

"Wrenching and desecrating, left to animal like squeals,"
I think it's meant to be "left to animals" not animal.

Other than that, I feel there are way too many adjectives in this
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/article.html?id=636
That's a good article to read if you haven't already done so.

Anyway, this was delightfully dark. I'm increasingly becoming a fan of dark poems and this just fuels me further.
The images created are great, I love the use of the word desecrating in the first stanza, I feel it is the ultimate dark word that isn't used nearly enough or in the right context.

Good job here, 5/5

jess ~

Kind of a unique poem in the sense that it is a dark poem, but in many ways about love...I felt the rhymes were done pretty well and it helped the flow out greatly. Nice job 5/5 GG23

I really liked this poem. Your word choice was very creative and image it portrayed was very strong and clear. The flow was very good through out the poem. I really see nothing worng with this poem it was great. 5/5