Mothers Mistake

by CODACHROME   Nov 5, 2008


Slowly and softly your tears start to fall
You pull out your hair you cry some more
The pain inside you, he stands so tall
You feel for the escape screaming, where is the door?

Your eyes are closed, your heart is shattered
You're broken, you're bruised, you're empty and battered
Night after night it happens again
Until early morning when he leaves you till then

You hear him coming, before he gets to the door
You know your gonna get it, your already sore
He hits you first, a blow to the head
The force throws you back wards into the pole of the bed

You feel it before you see it, the blood on your head
A shock to your system, you wish you were dead
Your mother stands at your door, tears in her eyes
She says she is sorry, you feel its all lies

If mother was sorry, we wouldn't be here
The mess she has put us in, the controversy, her tears

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Hey, i enjoyed this write much more, although some rhymes still did seem forced, i felt that this poem overcame that as the message was nicely given with little repetition and enough power in each stanza to keep the reader going till the end. just one thing that bugged me: when i write a poem or read a poem, i like to think that after its end it should have a impact, like make the reader think. your poem did, but the impact could be greater if you simply rephrase or modify the rhyme scheme of the last two lines, because although i understood it, the flow threw me..
    otherwise, i liked this write, its a sad topic, and sadly common.. reminded me of one of my favorite stories: 'A child called it'.. maybe you've heard of it.. =]
    xx

  • 14 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Hey, i enjoyed this write much more, although some rhymes still did seem forced, i felt that this poem overcame that as the message was nicely given with little repetition and enough power in each stanza to keep the reader going till the end. just one thing that bugged me: when i write a poem or read a poem, i like to think that after its end it should have a impact, like make the reader think. your poem did, but the impact could be greater if you simply rephrase or modify the rhyme scheme of the last two lines, because although i understood it, the flow threw me..
    otherwise, i liked this write, its a sad topic, and sadly common.. reminded me of one of my favorite stories: 'A child called it'.. maybe you've heard of it.. =]
    xx

  • 14 years ago

    by Coldstone

    Thats a pity! the poem is well written but it is really sad! I agee with chelsey! U did a gud job though! i like this one!

  • 14 years ago

    by Chelsey

    I didnt understand it. what does it mean

    ^^ hahahaha that person is stupid...that was really funny..

    This was an incredibly deep write! I really enjoyed it although it was so sad...Abuse is such a sad subject to read about and such a terrible situation one can put herself let alone her children in...You're a great writer! I like your work!
    Chels

  • 16 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Once again the flow and rhyme is exelent. sadly enough there are a lot of people who have gone through this and come out with scars.
    Well Written

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