by CODACHROME Nov 5, 2008
category :
Dark, fantasy /
other
Slowly and softly your tears start to fall |
by Mezmeryz
Hey, i enjoyed this write much more, although some rhymes still did seem forced, i felt that this poem overcame that as the message was nicely given with little repetition and enough power in each stanza to keep the reader going till the end. just one thing that bugged me: when i write a poem or read a poem, i like to think that after its end it should have a impact, like make the reader think. your poem did, but the impact could be greater if you simply rephrase or modify the rhyme scheme of the last two lines, because although i understood it, the flow threw me.. |
by Mezmeryz
Hey, i enjoyed this write much more, although some rhymes still did seem forced, i felt that this poem overcame that as the message was nicely given with little repetition and enough power in each stanza to keep the reader going till the end. just one thing that bugged me: when i write a poem or read a poem, i like to think that after its end it should have a impact, like make the reader think. your poem did, but the impact could be greater if you simply rephrase or modify the rhyme scheme of the last two lines, because although i understood it, the flow threw me.. |
by Coldstone
Thats a pity! the poem is well written but it is really sad! I agee with chelsey! U did a gud job though! i like this one! |
by Chelsey
I didnt understand it. what does it mean |
Once again the flow and rhyme is exelent. sadly enough there are a lot of people who have gone through this and come out with scars. |