DNA

by Vanessa   Nov 5, 2008


She really lights up the night skies,
with the brightness of her eyes,
She really brings the music to life,
with on stroke of her finger,
She makes everyone a believer,
in love at first sight.

The way she dances,
letting the music pick her up off the ground,
setting her down with a wondrous sound.
She leaves, and you can see rhythm extracting from her veins,
In bright colors dancing like she was before,
coaxing her back for more.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Frederick Mayer

    This poem isn't a full "5", however, it is without a doubt superior to a mere "4" rating!

    This poems has a few tonal bumps that take the enraptured reciever ( i.e "with on stroke of her finger") out of its embracing flow, as a large stone within a swift moving stream. There are some lines that may be properly, from a literary point of view, be correct, yet so many miss the spirit issued from the contents, hence, the oral/aural delivery just misses its sense of truly embracing its receiver(s), as the mentioned line. It just doesn't "feel" right.

    Though, the power of the whole is delivered with such deftness and aplomb than the beauty still is reflected when "read". And, the ending lands right on point, so the receiver(s) feel they are truly at the poem's finish...not an easy thing to accomplish, even for the finest of writers!

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