Lost and Afraid

The cobbled road, the distinct track
My heart goes on, my head looks back
The wheels keep turning, squeaking as they go
Wondering whether to stop or to go with the flow

this is quite picturesque, i like the imagery as it almost seems like you're telling a story. this stanza does justice as the opening.

The tears start pouring down my face
Walking alone, what a disgrace
Slowly and softly the rain starts to fall
Disguises my pain as it grows so tall

i still enjoyed your imagery, however i feel that some of the rhymes were forced such as the last line, it didn't quite click for me...

Stopping to bury that one more bone
Hiding it in the closets, my heart turns to stone
Screaming somewhere awakens me from my trance
Till I realize its me, as I straighten my stance

i like this stanza, but i still feel that some rhymes were forced..

The pain it slowly dwindles away
But the memories will remain, there here to stay
Your kiss, your hug, your soft sweet touch
These are things I need so much

i love this stanza. no forced rhymes, and smooth flow.. =] just one typo: i think 2nd line you meant 'they're' instead of 'there'?
otherwise.. neat.

My memories of you will slowly fade
Now Ive lost you I'm so afraid
Who�s gonna hold me in the middle of the night
When my fears get too much and Ive lost the fight?

i like how you ended this with a rhetorical question. overall, despite me feeling that there was some forced rhyming, the poem had a nice flow.. and i like the overall 'story' behind it as i can relate..
i hope i haven't sounded too critical!
x

Wow! u shud feature this one u knw! It an excellent piece n well written! The flow n rhyming was perfect! 5/5!

This is so sad to me because breaking up is a terrible heart break on girls ..and guys as well..I really loved the flow of this poem. I'm really into rhyming poems and my eyes just bounced from line to line..I loved it! Great work!
Chelsey

Nice rhyme and flow overall. I could defenatly get a clear picture of what you were talking about throught the poem. It was easy to relate to.
Well Wirtten