Comments : Ruby Red Tears

  • 16 years ago

    by Helena Jaster

    "closeted off from humanity
    Is your mind, chaos completly"

    The seeming loss of our self, the ideal seems to be a focus in your work lately. You are doing very well with the srong use of lange at the end, creating a cataclismic sensation in the reader as the last words express the emotion of the piece with a intense yet smooth description.

  • 16 years ago

    by Miu

    Wow this is powerful. I love how you making this strong not fluffy duffy or anything, facing this reality thought it full of beautiful lines Years of lost confessions and such :)
    I don't know if it's true, but I see like you are talking here about soon to be a killer or even serial killer. It was just my first thought, lines like
    Is your mind, chaos completly
    Filling up every inch of your soul
    Dont look now your loosing control
    or
    Sadly enough they wont live to see another day

    And it's brilliant how you talking about the sad side and the feelings about this person and how messed up they are inside.
    It got me really thinking, touched me.

    Remarkable work, my dear!

    5/5 for sure

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Well I really thought the poem was unique in many ways, the imagery is very strong and the title alone catches the readers eye. The poem forces the reader to think and ask questions. Why are these tears ruby red? does it symbolize blood from all the pain and abuse or are they the eyes of some sort of animal? I thought the flow was really good and the word choice as well, but spelling mistakes took a lot away from it....but thats an easy fix. All in all I thought the poem was unique and it left me wondering, excellent job 5/5 GG23

    Spelling mistakes

    Scared - Scarred
    Quickning - Quickening
    Completly - Completely
    Loosing - Losing
    Rapadly - Rapidly
    Quicking - Quickening

  • 15 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    Oh, dang. Very powerful, very angry. It was an excellent poem. A few spelling mistakes, but still a wonderful write. Aagh, need I say more on such a beautiful, intense, and captivating work of art?? If I could I would give you a 7/5. Keep up the great work.
    WakingFreedom