You're entering that place ,
where it seems you are alone,
the loneliness you embrace,
the pain which burns deep inside you,
This is where it lives..where it sleeps,
this is where you are now ....where it lays dormid,
among that loneliness,
the loneliness leads to sorrow ,
the sorrow brings you pain,
all you have ...is a bit of love left for yourself,
everything which you knew before and thought as pure and good,
like the immaculate plateau that is your life,
everything that you held on to with your bleeding tortured hands so strongly and battered...you can now let go,
loosen your grasp of life..let it go freely and kiss its liberty away,
you are now free to die...you're free to go,
since life has gone polluted..and it has gone to hell,
since in an instant everything that you knew has died,
and...i don't know what happened,
i have lost my appetite for food..yet i know I'm hungry,
what is happening to me?..
i want to smile..
i want to cry...
i want to feel something more than this,
and then i want to die,
and inside i am dead,
but on the outside i am a mess,
and out here i cry and i die..yet i smile,
i smile for that bit of life i have in me,
i don't know how long i can hold on to it,
all i have is a dead rose..laying in the back of my head,
the red rose is beautiful even dead,
yet so lonely and sad,
and i hold it in my hand and let it know that i can relate to its feelings and emotions,
and the rose knows that it is beautiful,
and it knows that it is keeping me alive,
i look at you..and you make me smile when nothing else will,
you are the red rose ...dead and buried in the back of my head,
but i still feel you so faint inside me,
the emotion which is not so faint is that of a pit of darkness staring at my face,
the darkness is killing me..the darkness burns and stings upon my face,
and i am dead more now than ever,
i fall deep into the puddle of darkness that i stare into,
the puddle turns into a black hole of abyss that is eternal,
and now I'm drowning as i am surrounded by pain and confusion,
i don't know what will happen now but i can only fall further down the darkness,
i can only die more and more,
and i wish somebody would stab me in the heart and destroy the misery i feel ,
i wish the pain would burn out.. i wish it wasn't mine to feel,
why cant a more deserving human being share what i feel which i do not deserve to carry?
why cant you be the one to die inside so often as i do?...
it doesn't matter...all that matters is this;
that we are all on our own,
and like the rose that dies,
i will be alone soon.
