I'm Holding On

by Bugg   Nov 7, 2008


I remember the night we met,
The way we danced and swayed.
I held onto you as long as I could,
At that silly masquerade.

You took off your mask
And revealed the bluest eyes.
They held my gaze for so long,
I'll never forget the butterflies.

Then that night a few years later,
When you asked me to marry you.
I cried yes into your shoulder;
I held onto you tightly that night, too.

When you came to me
And told me you were going to war,
I clung to you because I knew
That soon I couldn't anymore.

I answered the door one day
To find a soldier dressed in black.
He told me you hadn't made it,
And my heart began to crack.

Listening to the guns go off,
I began crying tears long over-due.
They handed me a folded flag
And I clung to all I had left of you.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    I'm more into image poetry rather than story poetry but this was darn good.
    I like the story, it was different. The beginning I loved because of
    "At that silly masquerade."
    That line in particular made it wonderful and hooked you into the words.

    The flow was also wonderful, which helped the poem along.

    The only thing off with this poem is the filler words.
    "You took off your mask
    And revealed the bluest eyes."
    Can be
    Revealed the bluest eyes
    or
    Revealing the bluest eyes
    etc.

    Still a solid poem, 5/5

    jess ~