Comments : My one true treasure (a poem for my son)

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    ^^^^It is indeed a true story, Miss Take.
    I am not the kind that wanted to have a child ever, but my son wanted to be with me. It is a spiritual bond that has little to do with being parent and child and we are both very much aware of that.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    How could it be you wanted to be with me,
    a girl that hated the world and it 's inhabitants so?

    This line is a bit confusing. The first one I don't understand, I think you meant something else and phrased it wrong.

    The second one it's its, because that speaks of ownership, and so it wouldn't make sense to be it's.

    Through you in learned to love the world

    I believe you mean through you I<--

    Other than that it was a heart felt story.

    It was very sweet and just let the reader know the speaker's life wasn't a box of chocolates, but that child changed everything. Very good.

    Five out of five.