I woke up shaking blistery chills off my body-
Like a dog energetically shakes off water,
I woke up scared to look outside my window-
Like a victim making an escape from her stalker.
^^ Instead of a comma after water, i think a period would be better. Just because it seems like the thought is complete and that is that. I really like the b eginning, it's suspenseful.
My heart is like stainless steel,
I'm known as the titanium rose,
The world seems so unreal,
As my emotions simply froze.
^^ Again, period after rose. And try seemed instead of seems...parallel verbs...I really like this one as well. It seems cold and...distant, if a poem can be that.
I closed my eyes in a state of disbelief;
A tough time, where it's impossible to shine,
When I finally had the courage to open my eyes,
I was there, a place that I'm well aware.
^^ You dropped the rhyme scheme :( if you can fix that, then do. But I love the image, and especially love the part about having courage to open your eyes.
The sunlight was flawlessy shining-
Like my very own personal spotlight,
The energy here is much stronger-
Than a battery operated flashlight.
^^ Loveeeee the metaphors here. <3
Pixies of this New World surround my being,
The clouds fill the sky in various creative shapes,
The purple ducks bathe themselves- quacking,
While I sit on this enchanted flying carpet.
^^ That one totally made me smile, but again, the flow gets off a little bit....but it's definitely the strongest stanza of the whole thing.
As it drives me into a completely New World,
Where the sun never stops shining rays of light,
A place where you can feel nothing but love,
Even as the day ends and the sun says goodnight.
^^ It's a very lovely ending Ryssie..<3
Very very descriptive and visual. *nods* Just check the flow in those few places and you'll be good to go. ^.^