The Contradiction Within

I know I want one thing
But for others I change
I act like it's normal
When I see it as strange

Put on my strongest face
But I'm shattered inside
I stand so tall for you
...My desire is to hide

When will you look and see
My contradiction within
Only held together
With sharp needles and pins

My constant tears dried up
I push my fears away
I plead for my freedom
Yet you beg me to stay

Why do you torture me?
Why to you cause my pain?
I'm already drowning
And then comes the rain

Because you smother me
I must gasp for fresh air
I'm so cold and alone
I am left standing bare

I'm forced to make a choice
Between family and life
Do I leave "warmth" behind
To possibly find strife?

It's a constant battle
Waging in my heart
A devastating war
Keeps me from a fresh start

But now I'm breaking free
I've decided- no more
I am my own person
Of myself I am sure

You have lost your tight grip
So unclench your jaw
Your voice holds no power
Your words no longer my law