Pretend and protect

Reading through the other comments already posted, i really dont have too much to say that wasnt already said.

Some of the lines seemed really short, which broke up the flow; mainly the "I pick up my blade" line. It is so short and undescriptive; maybe use and adjective to describe it, or s noun to say what type of blade. REACHING FOR MY RUSTED RAZOR BLADE, or GRASPING THE BLADE OF MY PARENTS SCISSORS.

I would suggest using the RHYMER.COM site when you write. It lists words that rhyme with each other, but also has a thesaurus and dictonary link as well. This may help you find different words and cut down on using the word "I" as much.

I pick up my blade
I pick up my 'shining/sharp/deadly/any other adjective' blade

Comment: A description of the blade will allow the reader to imagine the scene

I "have" to get out of this place
I "need" to get out of this place

Comment: 'Need' will do the job better than 'have'

Go on and live your "lives"
Go on and live your "life"

Comment: Each of us only have ONE life, not many LIVES

Great poem. Brings out the feelings and emotion of the reader. However, word choice is your weakness. Expand your vocab by reading more works

4/5

Simple is usually better, but there's obvious exceptions.

While your message was clear and everything was clean and well oriented, there was nothing unique or outstanding about this. While it is definitely a poem with a proper rhyme scheme, something was lost in simplicity.

One thing that did stand out to me, sorry to say, was a lack of vocabulary. You used happy, cry, 'pick up,' weak, pretend, normal.. all bland words in my opinion. Believe it or not, just finding a more sophisticated or less worn out word for each of those could drastically improve your work, making it seem more intelligent and even more heartfelt.

3/5 from me

Such a sad poem, youv'e written it very well
I thought the rhyming flow was carried out really good and the motion you put into this piece was beautiful

This is a good poem, it's filled with emotion as you can tell that is how you meant it to be.

The thing that takes away from this poem is that it's very cliche and everyone did this poem 100000 times on here and everyone seems to continue to do these teenage angst poems.

The grammar was good and the rythme was good, flow was nice and everything else was good, it was just the one, or two problems I had with it.

Good read.

5/5