Lifes Fading Away

by rainbowliciouz   Nov 14, 2008


Getting Played,
Hurts like hell,
never knowing ,
what your going to tell.

wanting to go,
but wanting to stay,
Tell Me why you did it,
why couldnt you just wait/

Lay me down,
and leave me there,
in my chains,
here to rest.

slit my wrists,
watch the blood,
and you should know,
i died for your love.

Lifes fading away,
as my lights go out,
Ill be dreaming about you,
and ill slowly fade out.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Nice flow and structure. The overall story behind this poem was good, but there was a few errors that I noticed. 1) Puncuation, there was none. Puncuation is a big indicator of when to pause or stop reading. Also words like, "whyd" should have an apostrophy. 2) using words like, "gonna" and "gosh" just don't work for me when it comes to poetry, in my opinion it recks the overall feel of the poem.

    Overall, it was well written, I'll give it a 4/5. Keep up the good work.

    Peace, Joe

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