by Stacey Nov 14, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
The first words of which she spoke to separated by brief moments toking on her cigarette. Take hold of something sturdy, you're in for a crazy ride. As i look her deep within her eye's i whisper, Come with me, I can set you free Or are you happy with your captivity. She smells the morning and smile's. But her smile doesn't quite meet her eyes, Isn't it funny how the eye's never lie? It's 6am she still hasn't closed her eyes, She cannot sleep preferring light to darkness. Restless to nightmares. Reality to dreams. She doesn't deserve to be to be in a place like this, All alone. I ask her calmly is she afraid to die? Throughout the conversations she will never look me in the eye, And mutters the words, "I'm not afraid, at least not to die. I'm afraid to live everyday not knowing why." As my arm goes to hold her, For a moments peace. She pulls away and flinches. Never has she known the love of another being. I eventually persuade her to tell me her first memory of pain. She looks me in the eye for just a second. But she looks like she has never been happy. She recalls her first memory, of when she was just eight. She saw him coming near her, The cold touch of his hand upon her body. A blackout has occurred and now she's not there. I try to get her to talk about her family but to avail. I'm certain she has an empty space of where she once had her dad. I scan her arms for some peace of mind. There are fresh cuts and wide scars all over her arms. She has battled through so much, Cannabis, Cocaine, Alcohol, Pills, Self harm and Depression. You can see in her face, She is worn out. But her eye's tell of so much pain. What do you have hope in? She smiles for the first time in weeks, As she looks up towards the sky. The stars. The pain in her voice can say so much more then the words of which she cannot speak. I question upon her plans and motives, She has no plans, She has no hope. |