Save me

by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX   Nov 17, 2008


Save me save me.
Please i cant seem
to use what god gave
me.

You picked my dreary head
from beneath the ground.
from that moment i knew
what i had found.

Just when I began to feel
you tore my soul from heavens
feet.I begged it not to be true.
But with every beat of your
heart,You shook me all apart.

Your words were so cold.
What happened
to make your hate for
me become so bold?

You promised me my dear
that you wouldn't leave no
not for a minuet yet as we
speak your words are so faint.

I beg of you save me save me
before i get so cold and become
one with the grave

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    I almost feel bad for commenting your poems. They're written with such emotion and you've worded them greatly. I just dont like you break them up. I believe this one needs a bit more punctuation. I gave you an idea with the last poem, on how to break them up. I get that the stanzas are different lengths and such, but it's for the better of the flow. You have great talent though, I hope you realize that. And, if you'd like for me to give you ideas on how to break it up and where to place the punctuation, just PM me and I'd gladly help.

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Your freestyle flow delivered your dark feelings very eloquently with a climax of darnes at the end

    well done

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