by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX Nov 17, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
Save me save me. |
by Teria
I almost feel bad for commenting your poems. They're written with such emotion and you've worded them greatly. I just dont like you break them up. I believe this one needs a bit more punctuation. I gave you an idea with the last poem, on how to break them up. I get that the stanzas are different lengths and such, but it's for the better of the flow. You have great talent though, I hope you realize that. And, if you'd like for me to give you ideas on how to break it up and where to place the punctuation, just PM me and I'd gladly help. |
Your freestyle flow delivered your dark feelings very eloquently with a climax of darnes at the end |