It's Love

Nice piece

i liked all the... ( I want to call them similies but im not sure if thats the right word ) where you say something as something.

Its a long poem and you need to capture the readers atention for the whole thing which i thought u did quite well. I was kinda getting the emotion you put into it but not completely but that might just be me.

Overall a good piece

This is a very descriptive poem =) Maybe a little too much, but you do get the point across. I liked how you contrasted him and her. Showing that she was the total opposite of him. Yet, I think you kinda were saying the same thing over when you keep putting the exact opposite in the next stanza.

"The right that was so wrong
The perfect imperfect
The love as gentle as a lamb
The comfort of the priest

The mistake so right
The imperfect beauty
The receiver of the love of a slaughter man
The comfort of the rapist"

Makes the poem feel like it's dragging on a bit, but other than that I loved it.

You get right to the point and you are an excellent grammar teacher :P I should have you revise my poems before I post them. *lol* 5/5 Very nice piece.

I really liked this poem. I wasn't sure if I liked the whole His/Her/They thing over and over but it was okay. There's a few minor changes (mostly for the flow's sake) but other than that you've a decent poem. There's that one stanza, mentioned below, that I think the poem would benefit more without it. I loved the meaning to this poem, the emotion was well sought out and displayed along with the word choice in majority of the places.

His love was deadly
His love so addicting
His lies so sweet
His lies so true

[ His love is deadly]

Comments: 'was' makes past tense. 'So' can easily go either way, but I think it kind of takes it from past tense to present in this poem.

As true as the Bible
[As true as a Bible]

Comments: Changing the to a not only makes it more relatable to everyone but it also makes it go with the rest of the lines.

The right that was so wrong
[ The right that was wrong]

Comments: The change makes it flow better with the rest.

The receiver of the love of a slaughter man

^^ I get this line and it goes well with the rest but it kind of mess with the flow. I'm not sure how I would change it, but I'm sure there is a way to make it flow better.

Who shall feel despair
[Who shall feel the despair]

Comments: Makes it more definite.

The couple who always fought
With the girl being injured
Physically, emotionally, mentally
Yet, it's not despair
^^ Not too fond of that stanza, it kind of threw me off a bit. I honestly think if you take it out (though it does the poem some good with the message) it would still be a great poem.

It's just love
True love
As true as princesses and dragons
As true as fairies with wands
^^ Minimize it?

[It's just love,
true love.
As true as princesses,
as true as dragons]

OR

[It's just love,
true love.
As true as fairies,
as true as wands]