Torn to peices

Torn a million pieces, no one to be found
Half of me is dead, I shiver to the ground
How they want me away, how I want to be
But they want me in horrible places, MUST we
I wanna be in heaven, but God don't want me their
Instead, to punish me, He keeps me here
But who wants me around, all I do is ruin lives
People ask me am I Ok, and I tell lies
So, must I have to stay on earth of UN-kind
Can God see me pain, or could God be so blind?