Wow. Didn't think I'd like it at first, from a glance it looked choppy and messy. However, this gave the poem an edge and really brought out the shocking truth within the lines.

'Shots fired. Sirens. Black Man Down.'

What an opening line! Using full stops to punctuate each part gives a feeling of shock and reality. Using this line at the end of the poem also rounds it off nicely, reminding us of the meaning and giving the reader something to think about.

A mother's son
brother to a few and kin to many
struck down in his prime
true meaning to the phrase, 'Age aint nothing but a number'
invited to that permanent slumber party where we all got a pillow or a
nice spot on the floor in front of the tv waiting for us
go 'head....get comfortable...

I wasn't sure about this stanza. It didn't seem to connect so well with the others. Rather than having a free-rhyme scheme it didn't rhyme at all. This didn't affect the stanza regarding impact, but it did set it apart slightly from the rest of the poem. I adored the imagery you used, with death as a 'permanent slumber party where we all got a pillow or a
nice spot on the floor in front of the tv '
This was updated, original and well worded.

The rest of the poem was practically flawless, and by far my favourite lines were

'Reminding us all
that even family trees lose leaves in the fall '

Again, superb imagery.

Amazing write, thanks for this.

Sole x