Far Away

Ok.
THis poem freaks me out just a bit.
It also interested me. It was like a poem written not in the point of view of the victim but the attacker/stalker.
It was really good and I liked it.

P.S. if that was not the theme that you were trying to get across then I'm sorry. I read poem too deeply sometimes.

Wow i loved the flow you put into this poems simply bloody amazing in my eyes. like the power you could feel 4m one line to another b/c it was the next line being better then the line before it arrgg it was a kick ars poem
Raindrops 5/5

"Chill your arms within my heart."

* This line really struck me from the beginning for a few reasons. First off, I makes it sould like the other person could actually reach inside your heart; it sets a moral demeanor of them controlling you. Them "chilling" their arms inside your heart lets the reader know your heart is cold without actually saying it. Great lines.

"Burn your eyes within my smile" is very powerful as well. As if staring at your lips will burn someones eyes; it sets a powerful mood for the reader.

"Fear for life, it's now in style." I really enjoyed this line; but I am not exactly sure why. Thats the power of good poems though.

I also like the repetition of a few lines; not too many, but not enough to annoy the reader.

Very meaningful and to the point. I like it very much!

Fear for life, from the very start.
Doesn't need the comma.

I like the rhyme of time and dime at all, who calls anything a dime anymore, anyways?

Other than those two things, I quite liked this. It's short and the meaning seems simple right up until the last line where it kind of hits you as being sad. Which I like in a sad poem.

However it was a little slow in the beginning, nothing really amazing pulls the reader in until the end.

Still a very solid poem, 5/5

jess ~