I am just a little bit confused on the last two lines of the second stanza... Why does the dad have to hide when he goes to work?
"when he has to go to work,
he has to try and hide."

Last stanza, third line:
"cry's" should be "cries"

Holy cow! I almost started crying and I am in the middle of the library.... this is a very deep and powerful poem. I liked your use of dialogue, it really relayed your message beautiful. Even my boyfriend said it was good.... and he really is not a poetry type of person, he absolutely hates it. So that means you did a good job! I totally agree. This is a peice of art. :)
5/5

I loved the poem you did a great job and im so sorry if this was based on a personal experience.

I can tell you have alot of emotion, but instead of trying to have everything rhyme it wouldve flowed much easier if you just let the words flow off. It seemed every rhyme was forced, using words such as "cool".

The message was heartwrenching, I know how it feels to lose someone special to you, and I think you did very well in depicting the emotion. The vocabulary couldve been better, but other then that its not bad.

3/5

Oh my gosh. I have shivers going through my body and tears forming in my eyes. A story about a father hits close to my heart. And you hit the spot with this poem. It was so beautiful and real. And I understood the emotion in every line. This is the best poem I myself have ever seen or read or felt. Beautifully Excellent Job, my dear.
xox 5/5