Hourglass(sss)

I liked the flow and punch of the opening lines of this poem. The 'v' noise really adding something there. I do prefer this one to the other since it has more direction. I can also see a 'style' emerging from you. You've crafted the language with a lot of alliteration and hyperbole. I also admire the useage of rhyme here, it's not consistent which I like because you don't restrict yourself in that.

This stanza was wonderful:

'A little conundrum I beg you consider:
Why is that unfed flowers wither
When separated from their ragged ripe roots,
When stepped on and starved as little weak shoots.'

The repetition looks a bit ugly on the page, but what you're saying is quite profound. It's clear that you love repetition since the two I have looked at both use elements of it. Only problem is, repetition is often used to pinpoint certain phrases whereas you use it with a lot of phrases: 'arid land' for example. Why the repetition of that?

It's a matter of taming your linguistical choices. A lot of alliteration, repetition and sharp vocabulary won't save you if your poem is weak behind all of it. Not saying this is weak, just for future reference.

WOW, I loved it, there is such meaning behind each sentence, a really powerful poem. 5/5