Wow, this is a really sad poem. I can tell there is a lot of emotion in this and see that my poem is totally lacking this. It flows very well and is easy to understand. I love the ending how it shows that maybe it will get better, but for now it isn't that great. 5/5 Very nice poem, yet a very sad one.

It surely is a poem filled with emotion...
This is very sad...I've been on clinical depression for about 2 years and my best friend almost died of anorexia, so i can, more or less, relate to it...

The flow is okay...but it could be slightly improved... when you read it out loud, a couple of verses...(the last of the 2 first stanzas, for example) seem to be a little bit off the rhythm...

I wonder why you write "&" instead of "and"...
personaly, i don't think it fits well, but that's only my opinion... those things are just a matter of personal taste...

I like the ending... The verse:
"Maybe tomorrow I will be 'normal'"
kind of get's me...

5/5
*isabel*

"Wear long sleeves to cover up
The truth from last night "

^love this line!

"Maybe tomorrow will be different
Maybe tomorrow I will not cry
Maybe tomorrow I will be 'normal'
Maybe tomorrow I will try "

I love these last lines, they just help to tie the poem together. and i'm sorry if you are dealing with this, it's a hard cycle to break.

5/5

This is a good poem. I think that the beginning was a bit off, which below is why and how I think you can fix that. It is a good beginning though, with a few fixes. The entire poem, overall is good. I think that the flow is off in a few places and that a few changes (like yourself/oneself) makes the poem a little less blunt. A lot of the poem kind of was catchy to me and the flow was on spot, I really liked how you used real names in some of the stanzas and such. Overall you have a good poem and with a little bit of work I think it could be great.

Hide the pain and smile
I tell myself this everyday
Hold back the truth, and take a breath
& If they ask reply, "I am Okay."

[Hide the pain and smiles,
I tell myself everyday.
Hold back the truth and take a breath,
and if they ask, " I am okay."]

** There's a lot of changes I'd make to this stanza, as you can see here. I added an 's' to smiles, because everyone has more than one a day and disregarded 'this' for the flow's sake. The comma in the third line kinda breaks it apart and it doesn't need broken apart, and taking out 'reply' in the last line, once again, helps the flow.

That living with yourself is a fight
[ That living with oneself is a fight]

** I still think with that change, even though it makes it sound better that the flow is a bit off. I can't seem to pinpoint where or how, but it's just an awkward line to me.

While you are getting sick
[While you're getting sick.]

Maybe tomorrow I will not cry
[Maybe tomorrow I won't cry.]

** usually I'm against conjunctions in poetry but I think that "you're" is better than you are because of the flow in that line. The same goes with "won't" and will not.

Make sure to spell out the word AND. It breaks up the flow of the poem because readers see it right away and focus on it.

Also, if you use quotes, try to use them at the beginning of the line; it helps with the flow too.

Who are Ana and Mia? If you don’t explain them in the writing (like MY FRIENDS MIA AND ANA) it gets confusing there.

I really like the “Maybe tomorrow”. Repeating it several times makes is stick in your head. It’s really a strong stanza.

I really great poem; it reminds me of my own poems.

Ana: Anorexia
Mia: Bulimia

This is like... the story of my life. I love the emotion you put into this poem. When you use "&" instead of the word "and" is the only thing that I can give you advice on. I love the last stanza, it's a perfect closure. 5/5 and keep up the good work.

Stefanie.

This poem is an excellent interpretation of many people's lives. It is so good. Sad, but good. It really made me want to give someone a hug!

This is the emotion I was talking about in the previous comment! So much better, I felt much more connected to this character. I liked how you included names, it put it on a more personal level. I liked the last stanza the most. It shows the hope, although it seems more of a fading hope, but hope nontheless. And the repitition of 'maybe tomorrow' was nice. I like good repitition every now and then when it's used correctly.

And, of course, I hope this was your imagination working and not something that is currently happening, but if it is I want you to know that you always have people on this site to turn to for support and help, even if it's just to talk to. If you can't find anybody, I'm always here, feel free to message me anytime.

Nicely written poem. I liked the repetition in the last stanza, it really makes it stick out from the rest which I thought was nice since it was the last stanza. Nice write, keep up the good work.

Peace, Joe

I like this poem. I know that there are people out there who could relate to it. The wording was good. the flow was great and the emotion was strong. I gave this poem a 5/5.

The emotion in this piece is very strong and well expressed. The flow and rhyme were great, as well as punctuation. The only thing that threw me off was this line,

[And if they ask reply, "I am Okay."]

I think it would be read better with a comma after the word "ask". It could just be me though. A 5/5 from me.

This poem actually reminds me of a anorexic friends I once had. A very sad story, about a very painful life. Liked the way you described the feeling, the casual I'm Okay, and I ate before... All excuses for the illness you suffer. A poem with a very deep meaning, once again, with nothing to add. 5/5