Well that was an interesting read you tell this almost like a short story, which was different for me.
One thing if i may say so watch your spelling there are numerous mistakes. Otherwise it was quite good 5/5

Grant

Second stanza - fingerer's..? fingers...

I really could put myself into your position in this poem as if I was the one walking through this winter storm. The descriptive words truly brought through a lot of imagery which was exactly what the poem needed.

The only major flaw I noticed was the variation of stanzas.. some had 4 lines, some had 5, some had 6.. there was a really wide variation which kind of hurt the flow at some points in the poem.. but other than that I thought the imagery was great and everything else was pretty much on point.

4/5 however.. sorry, the flow did not meet my expectations.

This is a piece that I'm conflicted about. It's about nature and the harsh effects it can have on you, but there is also another part that seems to make it mis-catagorized.

I think that this poem could have honestly been better. The form that you were using was a decent one, but then you broke it off short I found.

The poem could have fell under "Sad Poems - Grieving" It's an alright piece if you look at the nature part of it...but the death part if it, just reminds me of too many poems on here.

Perhaps Leave the person out of it. I believe you put him/her there to show the harsh part of nature, but the Death part of it, everyone immediately thinks about the usual poems that have been done on this site.

I'm not trying to sound harsh or mean, I'm just offering up some suggestions as to why It's getting some lower reviews.

Oh, and also, what you should do is describe the surroundings more, it's really something that you should do more often like "The dripping river..as it flush with glistening snow. The soft chirp of Birds that didn't fly the coup"

That's just something I did on the spot, but something more descriptive on the surrounds I think this poem would definitely be a feature piece of yours.

4/5

The main thing I noticed in this poem (other than over using words and putting them through-out the poem in a confusing way) is that when you'd break the lines up a lot of times it wouldn't be the right point in the line for it. So, in parts of it I fixed that and others were okay. There's a few stanzas that I thought were just fine and they're not listed below. You did a good job with this poem. It's not my favorite by you, but it's still a good poem. I do suggest watching how you word yourself, it can be a bit baffling and unless that's what you're wanting to do, then you need to make sure it's written correctly or the wrong emotion/flow/and everything else can be portrayed. Keep up the good work though, you do have talent.

Through the drifting snow
I now tread alone, cold.
There is nothing to protect me
no shelter to be found.

[Through the drifting snow,
I now tread alone, so cold.
There is nothing to protect me,
no shelter to be found.]

** I added "so" because when I'd read the line the first time I was thrown off big time, I think it lacked oomph, and that kind of gave it to it.

Shivers rake my body
now numb half frozen.
I can't move my finger's
they just won't work.

[Shivers rake my body,
now numb and half frozen.
I can't move my finger's,
they just don't seem to work.]

** I changed the wording quite a bit with this stanza. The way it was worded seemed a bit confusing to me, therefore I changed it.

Needles of cold prickle
under my soft flesh,
now turning blue
there is just no more heat.

[Needles of cold prickle
under my soft flesh,
now I'm turning blue,
and there's no more heat.]

** Once again, I thought you worded the stanza wrong. I guess your way of wording is okay, but I think that it gives off a bit of confusion in it. I don't really know why it confused me, but it did.

The snow swirling
thickly, all around
blinding me as it hits
my unprotected eyes.

[The snow swirling,
thickly all around.
Blind me as it hits,
my unprotected eyes.]

** I made one tiny, tiny change that's almost not noticeable to the eye. I took out a comma. But, when you're reading poetry you pause for commas and periods (or you should) which can mess with the flow if used in the wrong area.

Exhaustion over takes you
and you fall in to slumber.
Living through the night
brings you new hope.
The search party close
not too far away.

[ Exhaustion has overtaken,
and you fall into slumber.
Living through the night,
brings much new hope.
The search party is close,
they're not too far away.]

** I thought that you used the word 'You' wayy too much in this stanza, so I took it out in some spots, which called for a few changes in the wording due to the flow. THe last two lines I changed around a bit, just so that they went with the rest of the stanza.

Your heart soars as
you hear their voices.
Running out to them
you can't help but cry.
You are safe now death is
no longer hanging over you.

[Your heat soars
as the voices are heard.
Running out to them,
you can't help but cry.
Now safe, death is...
no longer hanging over you.]

** I changed this stanza around because you, once again used the word 'you' a bit much.

Interesting. I thought it was a decent poem, not one of my favorites, but still good. I agree with the others, the word 'you' was used too much. That was the only thing wrong though.

Well what can I say, another amazing poem that contains such beautiful imagery and delicate descriptions. Although the wolf is often portrayed as a viscious character (which I believe is wrong), you have turned it into a majestic, empathic creature. On with the poem....:

Through the drifting snow
tread the lonely and cold.
There is nothing for protection
no shelter is to be found.

^^ This is a really good opening stanza, keeping the reader's attention as they carry on through the poem.

Shivers rake the body
of the now numb almost frozen wolf,
finding it hard to keep going
there is no food to be found.

^^ I like the idea of shivers 'raking' the body, but I think there needs to be a bit of punctuation here? Just to break up the second line a bit.

The mountains loom in the distance.
Gray peaks reaching for the sky,
clinging to the cold snow filled clouds
that threatened to release there bounty.

^^ Lovely description of the skies here, and 'bounty' is a very clever word to use, good as a treasure or bad as 'stolen goods' (that's what I think anyway :D). I think the 'there' proceeding it needs to be a 'their', but I'm not here to be picky!

The snow begins swirling thickly, all around
blinding the wolf as the ice hits
the sore unprotected eyes.
It is almost ready to give up the fight
but finds the strength to put one paw in front of the other.

^^ This could have really been two stanzas here, as there is too much going on for just one. I would suggest splitting it up as it has changed the flow a bit, which would be a shame to put down such a lovely poem! Also a few commas are needed :)

The nearby forest is covered in ice.
Icicle daggers hang from the frozen
branches high above the ground.
There is no life to be seen
except for the solitary wolf.

^^ Slowly getting back into the rhythm here, but this again could be two stanzas. This poem is one of those poems that could go on forever if you wished! I like the strong imagery of the icicles.

It wants to get warm
but there seems to be nowhere
to go so it keeps moving on.
finally finding a cave it sleeps
through the long frigid night.

^^ Yay! Back into the rhythm we all love :D. Might I suggest replacing the 'get' in the first line with a 'be'? In my head it sounds a bit odd.

The next day it starts again
the wolf wonders, looking for food
and a new place to slumber
until the next day comes
and the battle starts again.

^^ A great end to the poem, and I love the idea of 'battle' not being fighting against other wolves, the battle being that against its home. Well done :)

Reading the other comments, I guessed that you have changed the poem recently? I think it has vastly improved from what I have read in the comments above, so well done for all of it. A really nice read, 5/5.

Ahhh this is a bit long :D

Keep writing,
Em :)

Well, I loved it! I could see it all in front of me...the harsh winter landscape and the lonely wolf trying to survive...
A very good poem, I give you 5/5

Hugs,

Ingrid

Very nice, I like your use of imadgry in your poem, I could defenatly get a clear picture of what you ment through out. I also like how your poem takes you through a passage of time and shows the reading what its like to be alone and to struggle. Especally how you have this written through the eyes of a lone wolf.

My favorite lines were:

The snow begins swirling thickly, all around
blinding the wolf as the ice hits
the sore unprotected eyes.
It is almost ready to give up the fight
but finds the strength to put one paw in front of the other

I like how you have said that the wolf is alamost ready to give up against the harsh elements but at the same time still finds the energy to keep going and to move on.

Well Written
Darkcrystalbtrfy

Wow, wonderful write. The flow and structure was outstanding. I loved your choice of words, simplistic yet made the reader ponder slightly which I tend to enjoy. Again an excellent write, keep up the fantastic work.

Peace, Joe