This is the story of my life,
about my feelings and strife,
all the grief and pain,
all summed up into one little poem.
Everyone thinks my liefs been easy,
and that everything is perfect with me,
because everyday I fake a smile,
and pretend that I am happy.
Promises made have been broken,
a once whole heart is now torn,
a face once filled with joy is pain,
and I am not the same.
After all the stuff life's put me through,
after all the rape and abuse,
I can still wake up each morning,
and I can get through the day.
But is it because I am strong,
or is it because I have too,
or maybe its because I have people depending on me,
and I know that I have to be there.
Friendships I thought would last forever,
broken hearts that never were fixed,
people left without saying goodbye,
and the lies have torn me apart.
But I try so hard to be happy,
to put a smile on my face each and every day,
and I try to help everyone else out,
because I don't want anyone to feel hurt.
But I spend so much of my life fixing others,
I forget that I have to heal myself,
and everyday the pain sinks in a little deeper,
and the depression gets more out of control.
I take my meds and still no help,
I talk to my friends but still cry,
I listen to music and still cant cheer up,
I`m changing everyday.
I cant remember my life before pain,
well I can but only faintly,
I miss that little girl I used to be,
that little girl with hopes and dreams.
Sometimes I still see that little girl,
I see her sometimes when I look in the mirror,
and I wonder what ever happened to her,
because thats the girl I want to be.
Back before I knew what heart break was,
and to me pain was only scrapes and bruises,
and those could easily be fixed,
with mom and dads kisses.
But times have changed and I grew up,
friendships gained and friendships lost,
pains that no one should ever feel,
and yet I am still here.
I have a strength in me that carries me on,
yet sometimes that strength doesn't help,
theres days I feel like giving up,
and days that I know I wont.
