Non Existing Love

How could you say you love me yet you hurt me repeatedly

its like me and you have two different definitions of love.

i don't know what i did to deserve being treated this way.

i gave all that i have to be held in the dark.

instead of the light. but its not just your fault

i allowed you to lower my standards.

i have my own light to shine in and obviously you live

in darkness. i just don't understand how you could

tell me these things when nobody's around

but when others are around you were no where to be found.

the love you said you have was there in some form

but in other ways it was not. i mean my first love and almost

first lover. i wish that i could say all the things on my brain

about how you make me insane. worrying about you when

i don't talk to you in weeks. but thats just the kind of love

i have for you. the only thing you left was an empty shell casing

of the shotgun love that is there. i care oh yea i care. about

my non existing love