Dictionary

by jLegendc   Nov 21, 2008


Inspired by Gabe Bondoc's songs

I am not nearly as poetic as I thought I'd be
To express, define in words what you are to me
So just listen, understand my affection
You really are beyond any dictionaries' definition.

Charismatic, photogenic and angelic
Makes rhythmic music feels like magic
Alluring, enticing and breath taking
Makes talking to you nerve-racking.

Luminous, gorgeous cat-like eyes you have
I don't ever want to see you being sad
So just look at my GAY facebook pic, it might make you laugh
I think just looking at it for a second will be enough.

Dazzling, charming, heart-alarming
Words are scrambled now as I am writing
Stunning, mesmerizing, wonderful thing
Too many words yet beautiful is the simple meaning.

Countless words have already been said
But there's still something I'm looking in my head
I tried to look in Thesaurus and found the word delicious?
Nah, that's not the word I'm looking, it just sounds so malicious.

So I tried to Google a word that exactly describes you
And yet, even the most reliable resource doesn't have a clue
I need a word inventor, an expert translator or word tester
Oh, I am just so desperate, let me call Mr. Webster!

Now I have ran out of words to say
Hope this poem made your day
I am so exhausted now as you can see
I hope this shows how much you mean to me.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    Sorry for the previous post, this site does not like the quotation marks or commas when you paste in the comment box.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    I like that you posted the INSPIRED BY line; most people don’t do that.

    A few things to point out.

    “I am not nearly as poetic as I thought I'd be
    To express, define in words what you are to me”

    The second line breaks the flow too much. Maybe replace TO EXPRESS, DEFINE with TO BE ABLE TO. It flows better. Using commas early in a sentence really affects the flow.

    “So just look at my GAY facebook pic, it might make you laugh”
    The first word, SO is not needed. I would start with JUST LOOK… I’m not sure the word GAY is needed either. It shows an immature tone in a poem that is otherwise very mature.

    “So I tried to Google a word that exactly describes you”
    Again, SO is not needed.

    It seems like the rhymes are forced; like TAKING and RACKING. Although they are spelled alike, they do not rhyme very well.

    I really enjoy most of the words you chose; “Charismatic, photogenic and angelic”, “Luminous, gorgeous” “mesmerizing” “Countless” “malicious”. They show an intelligent mind and add power to the poem.

    Only other thing I suggest is to try and keep the sentence lengths the same. A long line followed by a short line breaks up the flow.

    Overall, very well written. Keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Awe , this is really cute . I would personally be thrilled if anyone wrote something like this for me . BUT , the rhyming isn't the best quality and your flow is much off . Theres ALOT of potentiel to fix it up . Good job though .. It really is adorable . 4/5

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