Is there magic when birds sing, when sun shines........when all that one needs and wants is gone......time indeed in an enemy....lovely write.

How very true and so very sad.
Indeed time will go on for the ones who live, regardless of their feelings.
Knowing what loss you have suffered adds to the meaning of this poem.
Very well done, Crystal.

5/5 Ingrid

Wow this was a sad poem especialy when you mention the time concept when you reach 40 you seem to realise that you're not going to live forever, a realisation that sucks i do believe HAHA
Very well written Crystal i think you captured the essence of your poem perfectly
Well done 5/5

Grant

Crystal rose,

I like this so I will comment in depth..

Death the eternal sleep
^
Such a dark line, not death, but worse! It weighs heavily of a place where there is no way out.

Loneliness
^
I like how you have placed this on it’s own. It makes it stand out from the rest, allows the reader to fully absorb its solitude.

Embraces empty hearts of loss
^
So loneliness is the only comfort to a broken heart...which is none! This is very sad indeed.

Time is an enemy
^
A powerful statement. One which condemns a time that offers only negativity.

Marching on
^
A pattern here second line set apart from the rest, significant, so a line on its own. Marching on suggests the military, also that such sadness will go on and on..

With out regard to the weeping
^
There is an air of resentment here, like the blame is held elsewhere, with another.

The sun still shines the birds sing
^
Recognition that life carries on regardless, somehow unfair that it should when life is dark here.

With no end
^
Standing alone, three words, another statement, a final statement, a dark end, leaving only endless sadness.

But as always, time will go on
^
A sad end here, despite the loneliness, the tears the unfairness of the situation, time has taught us that life will always go on regardless of what has happened and to who.

'Loneliness marching on with no end'

A very well though out poem, full of profound meaning, written by a heart that has a whole life ahead to reflect and feel the enormous weight of such a situation.

((hugs))

Michael

Wow so short yet it has so much meaning and deph to it so many layers to it i loved it i didnt want it to end, it left you thinking 5/5 its going into my fav!!

Beautiful, sad, hopeful all in one excellent poem.

This poem is simple, and at the same time that is what makes it beautiful.

Normally I stay away from the very small poems, but there is something about this poem that seemed different, perhaps it was the similies, which I love, and the fact that you choose not to use adjectives.

This is a very well done poem and I enjoyed it. I really don't/can't say anything bad about this poem.

5/5

The sun still shines the birds sing
I would seperate the two ideas in this line with a ; or a comma .

Short poem filled with tons of emotion , I really enjoyed this read . 5/5 from me !

The only criticism I can offer is for the last line; instead of But as always, time will go on, I'd say, And as always, time will go on.
It seems to me that the sun shining and the birds singing are part of the same vision of time marching on, rather than opposed to it. I don't know if that makes any sense...
Beautiful little poem though.