Novel of my long lost love

Love is such a splendid feeling
One has endured through life's sailing
It's something bestowed as a gift freely
And without expectations very willingly
Finding half of the heart will be done
Just to see it beating as one
But you can't just find love the way you wanted to
Don't search for it let it search for you
That's why it's called falling in love
You just let it fall not forcing yourself to love
But at the age of 20 love for me is foreign
Limiting myself to crushes and admirations that all reigns
Though I like to see lovers displaying their affection
To the love one they chose and held in possession
Love by then does not enters my mind
Not a treasure for me to find
But at the blink of an eye everything's changed
A spark in my heart fires sure can't be ranged
My very self now became a slave of this love
But a servant that can do anything and is free as a dove

Now I got a story to tell you
About me and the boy I knew
He is a former classmate of mine
Friends and playmates we were that time
After grade school we had lives of our own
He went abroad how time had flown
For so many years we do not have news from each other
Just bits of stories told by my friends to one another
Have you seen him? He is back in town
Man for his age so fast he had grown.
Good for him I said to my friends
Just ordinary news it does not really mean
I am busy with my studies and the news was then forgotten
He went back abroad and resume to his routine

College life by then is fast approaching
Very excited to where my life will be going
I have to struggle to get good grades
And to hurdle any problems then see it fades
Years go by and time flies so fast
I caught a story of him from my mother as I pass
Lucky for him he now got a job
I said well he get a fortune one will surely grab
By this time I got hooked on internet
I remembered him and browsed his name on the net
I did find and see him on friendster
I sent a message Is it you my classmate remember?
Right holla there? How are you came the reply to me
Really fine How about you? I responded with a glee
We then exchanged stories through calls and emails
Since then, a stream of responds never fails
Then came the reminiscence and lots of laughing
Asking personal questions followed by teasing
You know what; I had loved a girl for so long,
One day he told me, as if singing a lyric of a song
Oh really? Who is she, do I know her? I asked
Of course you know her, he answered so fast
Hmmm... You can tell me, maybe I can help, I said
Whoa right! Well she's small, sweet and simple, he added
Clues and clues were given in return
Enjoying the talks and friendship is reborn
The story of that girl never bugged me
Maybe she's one of our former classmates, I agree
He said, It's not yet time to tell her what I really feel
I added, Maybe you can tell here when you're back here
The conversation was the forgotten and closed
But days later it was again brought up in the coast
It caused me shock but made laugh
Clues he gave, pointed me... Hello? Is this a bluff?
Laughing to his words, I said, I'm not believing you
But he's serious when saying, Believe me because it's true
Tell me, what is it that will make you believe, I will say,
I don't know if you approve of this, but I'll say it anyway,
I'd got this itch that no one can scratch,
This pain in my gut that leads me to say, that I loved you so much

As distance forbid, he just courted me on the phone
And I would always think of it whenever I'm alone
Sweet nothings burned my cell phone lines
My head's shaken, am I still fine?
Driven by his words,I need not lie
Why I don't deal with it yesterday, to say I know why
It's the same reason; sun goes up in the morning and for it to set,
So does me and my feelings I need not rest
I would like to voice it out; I like to say it clear
Whether you say yes, no or maybe so, at least I've told you my dear
And well, along with the pages as the story goes
I know by then, things different, who's my foes?
Then came the time, I get used to his call every 10 in the night
Starting to notice him without using my sight
The way he thinks is so much like my father
My very standard for a guy to be with forever
It become an infarct, in my heart began to develop
Strange feeling I'm not ready to cope
I'll have to control or else I'll cry
The ultimate fear that stopping me to make it a try
Girl I love and I really mean it
His words that melted my barrier bit by bit
Fine, I'll try! One day, I told to myself
If time will come, I'll be hurt, I don't care
For the feeling of being in love is worth a dare
Afraid of being hurt now is not a big deal
Since I can't control what I feel
On a particular day before the line ends I told him iloveyou
I can not get him out of my mind whatever I have to do
Really? You really made me happy
His response to my revelation unexpectedly
Since then I never thought life could be so beautiful
Things been wonderful splendid and delightful!
It is such a feeling I never dreamed to experience
So much love for someone without pretense
So sad he's too far from my reach
Loneliness saw me and now it is hard to ditch
But every night and day I am dreaming of him
Never mind anything what ever it may seem
Neophyte in this course sometimes I get coy
Simple endearment bring me joy
Well, I'm his ever darling baby
He's my beloved sweetie
Oh well, oh well, my heart began to swell
My mind's racing from where it must had dwelt
Every time my phone beeps, I would jerk to the ring
Hastily grab my CP and see if he's calling
My heart would beat- a full tachycardic
Hearing his voice, very melodic
My friend would tell me, You're now so corny
Who cares, as long as I'm not phony
But it's true; love is not always sweet as honey
You can't really appreciate it if it comes so comfy

There came a time, message becoming so dull
Phone calls come to falter, I feel like to wawl
I have to be patient, for I don't know the reason behind
Yet I can't stop grave ideas stealing upon my mind
Different experience, I had in the past
Heavy unexplainable heartstrings I could never bear to last
Emails go totter that once where gushing
My phone now's a dumb, for old-time had been babbling
What have I done, I don't know what to do
What's happening, please tell me so
My intuition whispered, there's something wrong
Am I doubting? Where's this feeling belong??
My paranoia's annoying me, it's making me squeal
I'm not used to this; I hope it's not for real
I'm thinking of what's happening to him
Fear of unknown in my heart filled in
I then realize why I am acting this way
We'd not seen each either for 7 years anyway
Everything may change and so are we
Appearance, attitude and feeling maybe
So to keep myself sane, I reflected to what I did
Realizing I'm so immature and weak-minded
Next moment, I become lax and go to sit back
The time's now ticking, I worry no more
Got used to the set-up, facing the day and leave it for
But God's so good to me, and forever will be
All along, my love remembers me
Sunrises and sunsets pass, so long he called me again
My work hinders my calls and emails He explained
Ok, so now, how are you was all I can say
What can I do, I really love him whatever it may
By then, I don't miss a day without hearing his voice
Simple love you so could make me rejoice
I pray we're moving on love's ladder
And our relationship turning from good to better
By sharing our plans and problems to one another
I'm hoping we can be more understanding bout each other
By now, time can only tell where our love would be go budging
All I know we're now on our 7th month and still counting
Vivid moments crossed my mind just remembering this day
I'm now full of hopes and dreams I could never say
I got this unexplained happiness in my heart
Dragged its intensity from the very start

For all the things, I'd never felt regret
But surely, one thing never eve will I forget
I've been dreaming of it, building my true-fantasy
Hoping and praying, it won't get fancy
But in my surprise, something did happen
He cheated on me and at first I can't comprehend
Stop!! Am I the only one counting? Wait a minute
Oh lord! What will I do I'm trembling and having cold feet
Thinking this is not feasible, it hurts me so
All along things happening, I dont know if I would let go
Lots of problem now pouring in, just in time
My brother stow-away, carrying some of our dime
The familys been struggling due to lack of finances
And now my hearts been broken to pieces
Jargons of life been testing me
Challenges burdens and pains, Im not able to foresee
The very person I thought could somehow ease the pains
Turned to be one of the thorns pricking me like pins
There came the time when I couldnt sleep
Tears streaming down my cheeks as I weep
I could feel the inside
That my study habits were set aside
But I came to ponder, its just stupidity
Letting my emotion run through my body
My happiness been snatched by my phantom thief
No one to rely but only me and myself
It made me squeak and latter on freak
But I have to go on, so many answers to seek
Later I learned, to adjust and live with it
And in the company of friends, my longings been met
I soon realized heartaches are just passersby
For so long it will eventually fly
It's clear that take the one whom I thought my world revolves
And replace it with people who would took me off my dizziness
The feelings will never ever fade, difficult to eliminate.
But I learned to live with it and now, I'm getting used to it.