Our Opposite.

by Teria   Nov 23, 2008


This definitely isn't my best, so I'm looking for good feedback on it?

- - - - -
Freakishly enough you've lost my soul,
in a world I'm unable to find.
Tears fall in betrayal,
the betrayal from me to you;
not the opposite.

I fear the failure of my lonesome heart,
the figures have added up
to find me alone for years to come,
and years longer than that.

Somehow it's time to turn back
and search for what I once had.
Since I'm lost within your heart,
I'm finding it so hard, oh so hard
to make my way to your soul.

I'm facing the world with disbelief.
Came too far to ruin things -
which was told unto you
from the beginning of our love,
but why can't that be our opposite?

I know my words are jumbled just a bit,
and they don't make much sense...
but this life is so confusing,
it has forgotten that I exist.

I fear the failure of my lonesome heart,
the one once connected with yours,
the one that desires your touch,
your smile, your laughter -
it's what I live for, what I breathe for, what I yearn for.

The tears, they fall so hard, so many.
I can't hold them back, I can never hold back -
I follow my momental needs,
and not what my heart says;
but why cant that be our opposite?

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by SH3S fiNAllY H3R3 l0V3 U N3NA

    Wow, this poem was very emotional. You might not think you did a good job on it, but you did. So good job. I've written poems like this and I've felt like this, so I know this feeling. Good job. 5/5

    .:CiiNDY:.

  • 15 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Well this is such a great poem. Throughly among your best written ones. I like the rythym. It make me wanted to read more or ask myself some questions. Very well done, 5/5, kel.

  • 15 years ago

    by Krista

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. There was excellent flow, and the repitition in the 6th stanza was great. I enjoyed the line, lonesome heart. Sounds like something I would use, haha.
    You did excellent in this poem. I liked the rythym, (sp?) and it was a good free verse. I like free verse.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    I truly enjoyed reading this piece. I rarely write love poems, mainly because it's not an emotion I can express well. I do enjoy reading them. Especially when they are as heartfelt as this one. The rythym was very nice. I enjoyed the last line and it's repitition throughout the poem. It made for a great touch of originality. Wonderful read. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by HaileyHelen

    I liked it ALOT! i think u did a great great job=]] It seemed very fluid...

    The tears, they fall so hard, so many.
    I can't hold them back, I can never hold back -
    I follow my momental needs,
    and not what my heart says;
    but why cant that be our opposite?

    this was a great way to end it... FANTASTIC=]]

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