I could tell this came straight from your heart because the emotions you expressed truly evoke those feelings within me as well. It was very easy to relate with what you said making this, as a whole, even more interesting to read.

1st Stanza:
I'm not sure if I am too fond of starting the poem off with "Freakishly" It kind of seemed weird and awkward to me but then again when I re-read the poem it kind of blended in so I guess that could be what your intention was, to make the reader think about why you placed that word there.

"enough you've lost my soul,
in a world I'm unable to find."
^ This was flawless. It was worded so simply but truly touched me with its power and truth. Sometimes we lose ourselves due to love and it becomes hard to find but in the end when a new love enters our heart, everything becomes clear.

2nd Stanza:
I loved your use of alliteration throughout this stanza because it just flowed nicely off my tongue when I read it out loud. It was very effective with your use of repetition to get your message across. The truth behind your words here was also depicted nicely with your choice of words.

“lonesome heart”
^I could feel the pain behind this statement. Everything has experienced the feeling of being lonely when they are abandoned by their love and you expressed it nicely here with your choice of the word “lonesome” Well done.

3 rd Stanza:
I’m not sure I liked your repeating of words here. “Time,” “lost,” and “hard.” It kinda seemed too simple for me where I know the meaning behind it was much deeper. All together it somehow threw off the flawless flow created in the beginning. I am sure you after you re-read this stanza, you can make the necessary changes to revive the flow and make it consistent.

4 th Stanza:
Too many I’s here. It sounded more like a rant rather then a poetic piece. I liked the message behind it and I could tell you were sincere in your feelings but it just didn’t flow right for me and I know you could do so much better. It was a tad bit simple and redundant.

“facing the world with disbelief”
^I loved how you worded this! It was flawless and the only thing I would not change in this stanza.

5 th stanza:
Loved it. It was very easy to relate with. We all lose ourselves in this world at a time in our life where we lack love and things just start to not make any sense and you question everything in your life. I think you expressed that notion nicely here with your great choice of words.

“but this life is so confusing,
it has forgotten that I exist”
^So much heartache is evident in your words here that I could not help but be emotional. Well done on these lines, they truly affected me.

6 th Stanza:
LOVED IT! Great use of repetition here. I could just feel the desire you have for this person and how much you yearn for them to be in your life once again. You expressed yourself flawlessly here and made me feel exactly what you felt while writing this and that is what makes an effective poem, truly touching the reader and that is what this stanza did. I applaud you!

“it's what I live for, what I breathe for, what I yearn for.”
^Ahhh wwow I could just relate so deeply with you just said. Some love is just so hard to live without and you do not know how to move on without it.

7 th Stanza:
Very effective way to end the poem with a question. It just leaves me, the reader, wanting more and questioning their own lives. It makes the reader think about the poem long after the finish to decipher the message behind your words. A perfect ending to this wonderful piece and very effective use of the title in the last line, great way to tie it all together.

Although there was a few stanzas in the middle where the flow was rocky and could be fixed, I was truly touched by this piece and therefore will give it a *5/5*

Well done.

Very well done. Love the true emotion you captured in this piece. Two words; simply amazing. Keep writing, you're very talented :)

At first the flow of the poem seemed a little off like you were almost forcing to rhyme, but as it progressed it got better and better. there were some words that struck me like "opposite" ver well done

xHSx

Good poem, it really sends a point directly to the readers emotions.

I really like how you use the words I FEAR and I KNOW. I KNOW is very factual, it cannot change, but the I FEAR sends a sense of unknowing; it may be true and may not be true. It really leave the meaning of the poem for readers to figure out for themselves.

I also liked the use of free verse here. A rhyme scheme would have been too ... committed maybe? The free verse allows you to really drive your point home without limiting the words you chose.

Lastly, I love how you end the poem on a question, it makes the reader wanting more, which will draw them back to your writing.

I liked it ALOT! i think u did a great great job=]] It seemed very fluid...

The tears, they fall so hard, so many.
I can't hold them back, I can never hold back -
I follow my momental needs,
and not what my heart says;
but why cant that be our opposite?

this was a great way to end it... FANTASTIC=]]

I truly enjoyed reading this piece. I rarely write love poems, mainly because it's not an emotion I can express well. I do enjoy reading them. Especially when they are as heartfelt as this one. The rythym was very nice. I enjoyed the last line and it's repitition throughout the poem. It made for a great touch of originality. Wonderful read. 5/5

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. There was excellent flow, and the repitition in the 6th stanza was great. I enjoyed the line, lonesome heart. Sounds like something I would use, haha.
You did excellent in this poem. I liked the rythym, (sp?) and it was a good free verse. I like free verse.
5/5

Well this is such a great poem. Throughly among your best written ones. I like the rythym. It make me wanted to read more or ask myself some questions. Very well done, 5/5, kel.

Wow, this poem was very emotional. You might not think you did a good job on it, but you did. So good job. I've written poems like this and I've felt like this, so I know this feeling. Good job. 5/5

.:CiiNDY:.