These Tears Won`t Forget Your Name.

These Tears Won't Forget Your Name.
By: Paula.C.

It's easier to cope when the day is full and theres
things to busy my mind with...
its when the moon is high that I struggle the most...
I'm placid to my thoughts, with not a thing to distract
me...
I think of you, and the pain you must be experiencing...a pain most likely similar to my own...if not worse
I feel as if I have lost everything..
that there is no point to my life, just wasted seconds ticking by.
And what am I suppose to do, with the pledges you made to me but broke like the shattering of a dropped glass...
swift and ruthless..
I gave myself to you, trusting, and unknowingly caring more deeply than the friend we told everyone you where...
and you cared too, you just didn't want to realize it,
I could tell by the way you looked at me, how we
talked, the aura that surrounded us...
why would you have the power to make me smile
in such a dark time if you were not suppose to
be the one that made me smile?
It doesn't make sense...
I was vulnerable, and hurt and it was you that
took me in your arms, and made me see
colors again...
my life was no longer the monotonous black it
was from the depression and self doubt pressed
upon me for a year and a half...
It was beautiful...happy full of smiles
and rainbows of emotions and colors...
it was breathtaking, exhilarating in its freshness and I was lost upon it's array...
And then you left...
just dropped out of my world, to busy with your
own life to be the friend you promised you would
be...
What am I suppose to do?
If I was angry I could just accept that you threw me
away and move on...
but I'm not angry!
no where close..
I understand you have your own life, problems of your own and i would never push myself upon you....
I... I just don't like this feeling of being thrown away...
back into this gloom that swallows me without mercy..
and I can't do a thing about it... cause, I still care for you
and my heart aches with the thought of forgetting you..
i feel sick at the knowledge that you could so easily throw
me away..
like i was some worthless object; continuously meant to be
broken so someone can put me back together and break
me again...
so far and unlike the beautiful person you always
made me feel like...
And so I weep silently on the inside, the tears
shredding whats left of me, as I wish desperately
for your happiness...even though i wasn't good enough
to be the one that brought it too you...

08.24.08

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I'd like to thank Marlanna, for the tittle. No matter what the poem she can always find an awesome tittle. Luv ya sis.