Inability to feel life

Plus you didn't even split the stanzas up right......for the meaning to be the same

Poems do not need any sort of set "structure". I life free flowing poems.

No offence, but this poem needs a lot of work before it even comes close to being a excellent write.

The puncuation was better in this write, but still needs some work. The structure is just all over the place and needs work as well.

Your overall concept of the poem was well thought out, but with a few adjustments this could be an outstanding write.

``````````
From the tops of dying trees,
anguish falls upon my calloused face.
and
As I breathe, the air only exposes the misery
Of the frigid snow awaiting to fall.
Chilling winds numb my words;
Congesting my days within my throat and,
ultimately falsifying my reason to breathe.
I'm dehydrated from these people
Sucking dry every bit of confidence
within the pores of, my now dry skin.
My body is starved of the bliss
Once saturated within my fat
and
This person that I call myself
Has lost the will to feel
I have forgotten how to speak
In dreary cold air
and
I am longing for the way
Back into myself

^^Huge mismosh of words, it barely even looks like a poem. How am I or any other supposed to read this when it looks like one big paragraph? This is what I would do to start. Break this poem up into stanzas of equal lengths. Give it puncuation so the reader knows when to stop/pause in the poem. And once those two simple things are done, I think this can be really good.

``````````
Here is an Example of what I mean:

From the tops of dying trees,
anguish falls upon my calloused face.
and as I breathe, the air only exposes the misery
Of the frigid snow awaiting to fall.

Chilling winds numb my words;
Congesting my days within
my throat, and ultimately falsifying
my reason to breathe.

I'm dehydrated from these people.
Sucking dry every bit of confidence,
within the pores of my now dry skin.
My body is starved of the bliss.

Once saturated within my fat;
This person that I call myself
Has lost the will to feel.
I have forgotten how to speak.

In dreary cold air,
I am longing
for the way,
The way, back to myself.

``````````

Wonderful write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

Wow. I'm just so surprised at how someone can so beautifully and flawless describe everything that has been going through my mind recently. I've never read something that has connected to me on such a personal level, and I really thank you. I'm just speechless, I'm sorry. Amazing piece.