Rawr :P
This one is crazy good too. STOPPIT!

There are a couple of lines I wish to show you how to make betta, so I'm gonna go through. Humour me...I need distractions right now.

Till angels are back again

^^ The flow gets really off here. Almost all the lines have three or five beats and this one has seven. soooo what I would suggest would be to change it. no clue how on this one though >.>

For safety you once enjoyed

^^ Same thing for this one. It's got too many syllables. HOWEVER! I know how to fix this one. ^.^ Tryyyyy "For safety enjoyed". It means the same but goes with ze flow betterer.

Close your eyes
And turn around
Breathe in deep
Fall to the ground
Curl up tight

^^ These are my absolute favourite lines from this poem. The flow's perfect, it's an amazing start...I just really love the simplicity. It makes each line seem jabbing and painful. Idk. It's also how I feel right now, so that means I automatically like it. Greattttt beginning ^.^

Overallllll izza very good write, loverly to read. thank you. :)

5/5