Ruin of my former self

I'm shielding my eyes from the blinding light,
As i get through the memories of that dreadful night,
Am i in a perturbed plight,
Or am i drenched in fright.

The hoodwinked me into going with them,
and off we went to that Mauritius island,
When soon i heard growls and shrieks,
Insanity surely reached its peak,

The news of her death
came as a silent storm,
It cleared me off my wits,
I could feel horror in me form.

I couldn't control myself any more,
I suddenly fainted and fell to the floor,
When suddenly i woke up and cried in awe,
No one over there was what i saw.

I cried, screamed and down I fell,
My life had become a living hell,
No one had bothered to wait and stay,
Since then my conscience has turned into blue and grey.

Can you end this never-ceasing numbness,
because it has ruined me forever,
I just need a little help,
Because I'm just a ruin of my former self.