Comments : The Razor's Edge

  • 15 years ago

    by Twisted Heart

    Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed this write. The rhythm was really tight and flowed well until this passage:

    "Rant and rave, please do leave
    I'm sure you'll need some time to grieve
    I myself do believe
    I need some room to grow"

    The third line seemed to falter just a bit with the missing syllable. Perhaps if you worded it like this: I, myself, I do believe

    Just a suggestion.

    I did love the whole poem, though. Very thought provoking. On second thought, if I slow down the words and pause, it works out just as well.

    Still crazy,
    Jeannie

  • 15 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Rolling between chuckling and identifying,
    I thoroughly enjoyed this little ditty...music would, indeed, be fitting here...a hit I predict...'-)