Comments : The Chameleons

  • 15 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    I really like the rhymes and the idea is fantastic . Your flow is almost flawless . I'm going to take this warning to heart . 5/5 , great job .

  • 15 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Thankl you for your time in reading my words and for leaving those words of your own.

  • 15 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    First off, I really like the title. It foreshadows the meaning of the poem and peaked my interest.

    The first stanza is well written, pretty straight forward. Only thing I would suggest would be using some sort of punctuation on the last line. It helps to close the thought.

    Moving on, the the second stanza is good as well. I really like the second line: "Not truth but hidden lies". I am not sure why I like it so much, but it sounds good; almost like a prophecy. Only thing I wanted to mention here is the use of the word "their". Obviously, this is the plural form of the word, but it is offset of the poems title. I think it would sound better (and this is a very small detail, I almost feel like I am nit-picking here) to change the title to CHAMELEONS or change THEIR to HIS / HER. Like I said, a VERY SMALL detail.

    The third stanza starts with a typo in the second word, easily fixed. Again, the plural word THEY (actually THEY'VE) contrasts the title again. The last line seems a little weak for me. Up to here, the poem has been pretty strong, but that one line seems weaker; it almost seems the you were forced in to this line to keep the rhyme scheme going. Maybe you could try using ARE NOT ALLOWED TO YOU.

    The next part is well worded as well. I enjoy the FOLLOW IN THEIR LEAD part; it really shows that someone is trying to take control. I also enjoy TAKE HEED. Many new / younger poets are not apt to use phrases like this.

    The last stanza is pretty straight forward again. Nothing that anyone can misinterpret. The closing line is nice as well; a strong finishing point.

    Overall, I enjoyed reading it. Its not too long; not too short; and the wording is not overplayed.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sourav

    I think it's a very enjoyable and well written poem. Well measured lines and good flow. Well done!

  • 15 years ago

    by Spirit

    I liked the different animal that you pick to represent love, or at least false love. It was refreshing not to see a snake or rat used but a chameleon. I would of, however liked to have seem them as darker critters to be weary of. But you were able to that started out dark and was turned around. So koodoos to you.