Comments : You were...then not...

  • 16 years ago

    by ShyandHurt

    Perfect word choice. The feelings came from the words to my mind and they keep spinning in there. Very memorable. Great job. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    You were my rock
    To you I could always talk
    And with you I wished to always walk
    Down this endless road called life
    ^^ Sweetie , since the rest of your poem doesn't rhyme , you should really change up the structure of these sentences . It's just really oddly put into words .

    You were my hero
    To you I could always admire
    ^^ This don't make sense , try something like "When it came to you , I could always admire . "
    And with you I wished to learn
    About this place called Earth

    You were my role model
    To you I could always run too
    And with you I wished to destroy
    All these depressing memories

    You were not there that day
    Without you I could never accept
    And without you I could never expect
    To do anymore than fake a smile

    This is really sad . I think you did a really good job , but there is some improving to do . 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Angeleea

    It was very touching