I Promise

by HollywoodSmile   Nov 30, 2008


I'll cut my writs and bleed to death
or just enough to stain the floor
because i just can't forget
the way you make me feel

i'll be burried alive and suffocate
choking on the earth
no matter what, i wont regret,
i wont take back the deal

i'll tie a noose and hang myself
right outside your door
i sold my soul to satan's hounds,
my bones are their next meal

i'll light a match while doused in petrol
all to prove my worth
i promised i'd live for you
but if you leave, im leaving too

(this is kind of a response to 'Both of us Together' by Resisting Reason)

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by HollywoodSmile

    But that rhymes with the second line in the last stanza. what else do i put there then?

  • 15 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    I'm not gonna lie all I felt through the poem was anger, no wait, selective anger I guess haha. I love how you can pour your emotion right into the poem with such ease and flow.

    The rhyming scheme was unexpected, but it didn't mean it didn't fit perfectly at all. The vocabulary used here was simple yet effective, and at least to me it got to the point.

    "Choking on the earth"
    - I think you should either rephrase this or change it completely. Its not a mouthful, its just almost misplaced. In my opinion, that is.

    a well deserved 5/5.

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