Sunrise Interpreted

Hey! here i go!

Stanza 1:
"We walk through the beach, as the day awakes
Watching closely, as the darkness breaks
"What can you see? What can you feel?
What did night's shadows try to conceal?""

-- LOVE the imagery used here. and also how you have tied in the "as the say awakes" with "darkness breaks" -- very well done!
I also love the rhyme in this too.. "...feel?" and "...conceal?" also very well done.
This stanza also had a nice flow and rhythm.. which to me is what I really like. =)

Stanza 2:
"I see light burning through the air
A perfect image I can only compare
To the delicate shine of your eyes
I see my love in colourful skies..."

-- AGAIN BEAUTIFUL IMAGERY! Wow. this is really good. I like how you use such strong words, such as: "light burning", "perfect image" and "delicate". so beautiful.
Again, loved the rhythm and rhyme. Flows very well from the first stanza. =)

Stanza 3:
"I feel hope in its greatest glory
A new beginning for an ending story
My heart feels like bursting into flames
With new warming thoughts and aims"

-- Very well done on this stanza.. "greatest glory" and "ending story" had it in for me this time. Very well done. Loved every bit of it. Also loved how you described your heart.. and then your thoughts.. (and aims). Again loved the rhythm, rhyme and flow.
Use of words were also very creative.. =)

Stanza 4:
"I feel alive... Light begins its dance
From the sun, a glimpse of romance
With the same rhythm of my soul
I feel reborn...I feel whole..."

-- Again such great imagery used here.. "dance" and "glimpse of romance". very well done.
And also how you explained about the 'rhythm of your soul' and that you now feel 'whole'. well done for the wording.
This stanza was a little different than the others.. maybe a little shorter.. which threw it off balance a bit. but i still liked it =)

Stanza 5:
"The sun shows gracefully what hid in the night
My broken aspirations healed by its light
While touching your hand, I smile with surprise
I lost track of time, while watching the sunrise..."

-- Loved how you have tied this in with the first stanza. Again loved the imagery and the words used here. Loved how you have used.. "I lost track of time, while watching the sunrise." this is like a connection back with the first stanza.. and you have done this well. Very well.

Well, its a beautiful poem, which portrays many feelings and such beautiful imagery.
Well done, and keep up the good work!
=)

[ 5 / 5 ]

- Nicole
xox

I feel reborn...I feel whole...
the first set of ... could be replaced with a ; . Otherwise , omg ! You're so talented it's not even funny . You make my writting look horrible . This one is once again , flawless . I got so into it , and it was read almost like a song . Such a fantastic write .. I wish you the best . 5/5

Well done. I think it's the first time i red your poems and i really lkike your unique style of writing. Keep on writing, kel.

I loved this poem. I can truly relate to it. The wording was great and the emotion was strong. I gave it a 5/5. I saw nothing that needed fixing.