5/5. beyond sad, and i see what u mean by the rhyming. *hugs* i really hope that things are going to get better.

Hey i related to this poem a lot and would like to talk to u in this regards....

"Day after day she remain in pain,
Begins to realise she'll never be the same,
Sicker than ever before,
Again she's falling to the floor,
True smile seen no more,"

-The last line hit hard to home, and probably relates to a lot of people. The emotion, through rhyming and word choice, is put forth amazingly.

"Never has she felt so sore,
Low in spirit, struggling to go the distance,
Nothing in her life has consistence,
Thoughts of death take over she,
She's someone she doesn't want to be,"

-This has imagery in it. I can imagine her on the floor thinking all these things, and it just keeps me enticed. I like how you explain why thoughts of death come over her.

"New day yet she feels so hollow,
Maybe this will be the day she finally drown in sorrow,
Treatment a big failure what happens now,
For she lives a life with no wow,"

-Rhyming here is very good, I mean it's simple words, and most people would find it as beginner, but to me it adds the most wonderful effect.

"Just a mind that slips deeper and deeper,
Wanting to become the world's longest sleeper,"

-*world's longest sleeper* The way you word that is great, I mean people will get what you mean, but it makes them want to keep reading.

"Escape from the pills,
All the unpaid bills,
For a life without thrills,
Is a life that kills,"

-This is the best part of the whole poem. The rhyming is natural, and the flow here is simply incredible. This could be something that a person might recite.

"As her mind gets covered by the grey,
She doesn't think she'll manage to find a way,
Out of this trap she's in now,
This may just be her final bow. "

-An amazing way to wrap up the poem. I learned what you meant by the title, and I like how you used a color for a meaning.

This poem was fantastic. I never once grew bored. Everything kept making me want to read more and more. The rhyming worked very well, with a lot of people it seems forced. I'm very sorry you have to struggle with depression, and I hope that somehow or someway you will find happiness.
5/5