Regret (contest)
by Brittany C Dec 3, 2008
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This aching pain |
Did You Like This Poem?
Latest Comments
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15 years ago
by Meena Krish
Sometimes we fail to tell our true feelings &
that in turn makes us feel miserable..I can
understand this emotion...take care. -
15 years ago
by Ana
Wow.it's really good & so much feelings are put into it
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15 years ago
by Ana
Wow.it's really good & so much feelings are put into it
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15 years ago
by Teria
"This aching pain
has been consuming,
this weakened soul of mine
since the day you went away."
Above is an example of the only problem(s) I seen in this poem. Everything is perfect. The wording, emotion, all that. EXCEPT flow and the only reason the flow is wrong is because of too many commas. Read this poem over, out loud and silently. Take a millisecond breath at the commas and a longer one at the periods. You'll see what I mean by how punctuation can make or break a poem. I think almost every poem needs some to a point, but while reading the essay like punctuation can mess a flow up big time.
I'll point out the mistake in the first one, so you can see what I mean.
"This aching pain
has been consuming ( NO COMMA HERE - READ IT WITH AND WITHOUT)
this weakened soul of mine, ( COMMA HERE, YOU NEED A BREATH - READ IT WITH AND WITHOUT)
since the day you went away." -
15 years ago
This one was short but really deep.
You stated a feeling that a bunch of people can relate too.
I consider myself one of these people
Very well written
5/5
