Nothingness of life

Crying out no one hears me,
Shaking uncontrollably no one sees me,
Scream and shout but it's as if it's silently,
Crawl into a ball and let the knife dig in quietly,
World full of so much anxiety,
Loss of control going insane again,
Wish i could have some form of normal life again.

Look into the mirror don't know myself,
Minds one that's not mine,
Memory fading rapidly,
Forget your coming and i jump nervously,
Blades so sharp leave me feeling empty,
Moments so hyper is as human as i can be,
Most things don't mean a thing to me anymore,
Why has this struck me down so hard core,
Can i just exist no more.

Life so jumbled and messed up,
Can't just tell the world what's up,
So sick but keep it to myself,
Don't let those i love know they don't need the stress,
Put on a smile one day it will kill me,
It'll be so forced it'll just crumble me,
Visions in my head real or fake,
All this is so much more than i can take,
Had enough of the hospital visits,
The treatments and pills that continue to fail,
While side effects do all but good,
Know what you give isn't what you get,
I give everything only to receive nothing.

Nothing but pain...
Nothing but hate...
Nothing but panic...
Nothing but confusion...
Nothing but illness...
Nothing but illusions...
Nothing to stop me from going and never coming back,
Blades finally cut to deep,
Mind finally loses it all,
No control at all left,
Here goes one last breathe.