Alive with lifelessness.-the life i never knew i had.

You'd think she really means it when she says best friends for life...i guess the i can only end this pain with my trusty knife. I hold the weapon in my palm, as we meet again. like the times wen i was hurting and i kept you close at hand. mommy saw me one time, but i know i wont get caught. and as you're closer to my throat im thinking things i never thought. i hate you because you made me into this fuc*king lonely bi*tch. to see you dead in front of me would be my only wish. look what you've done to me, look what you've made me into. why doesnt any1 realize the REAL person that lives in you. as for my loved ones, maybe i'll see you someday. sorry i didnt stay by ur side..sorry it had to end this way.to the friends i thought i had, i only wish you luck. all those times i needed you, not one of you gave a fuc*k. why am i doing this? is it my destiny? am i simply a mistake that was never meant to be? im tired of all this thinking, so before i use the knife, im contemplating other ways of how to end my life. i go into the cabinet and take out all the pills. im soon to be another shadow whos future has been killed. to all the nasty people, who make my life a mess, i hope you suffer the longest death and not one moment less. maybe im making a mistake by ending it this way, but when i think about my life theres no reason i should stay. none of you needed me, you said you never did. and now you've seen a side of me which i had always hid. i hate that you see my tears, the ones i cry each night. i hate that you see my fears, which i've tried so hard to fight. a perfect world would mean no suffering and never any pain. a perfect world would bring sunshine and never any rain. my hands are unsteady, as i clutch my trusty knife-dear knife, you're all i have now. come and end my life. the first cut bleeds a little, but its soon to end. so a second time i slash at myself, to feel the pain again. this is for the tears, the ones i cried for you. this is for the evil things i wish i didnt do . the final cut will end this nightmare, only now can i be glad. so this last ones for the perfect life i never knew i had.