Grade eight was when my life changed,
he walked into my life and became my everything,
I was so sure I had found my true love,
but he wasn't even half of that.
Things were great for awhile,
always laughing and smiling together,
I trusted him with my every secret,
and he seemed to listen to my every word.
But it seemed the closer I grew to him,
the further away I fell from everyone else,
until the day when this boy became my everything,
and everything else just disappeared.
I thought that it was okay and that it was good,
but now I see how wrong I was,
he was molding me into who he wanted me to be,
not who I wanted myself too be.
For years I let this boy control my every word,
I believed he was doing it for my own good,
and every time someone would tell me differently,
that friendship would soon end.
This boy had my brainwashed so bad,
that even I couldn't`t see what he was doing,
I thought this was all normal and good,
but it was far from the truth.
What started off as a simple lie,
suddenly changed into him hitting me once,
and once he hit the first time it just never seemed to stop,
I was a prisoner in my own life.
I watched as my friends all went to the movies,
knowing I could never do that,
because I had to spend my every waking minute with him,
I had no time for my friends anymore.
I tried so hard to hid my bruises and my scars,
from the hitting that he did and the cutting I did,
I tried so hard to force a smile everyday,
but things just seemed to be getting worse.
Then one day the hitting changed into a shove,
and a shove into a full out fight,
where I ended up with my head against a brick wall,
and I felt like I was dead inside.
But no one could ever know what he was doing to me,
I couldn't tell a single soul what was going on,
for if anyone found out my secret,
that would be the end of my life.
The days got worse as time went by,
the hitting turned into death threats,
and one day he actually took a knife to my throat,
but I still didn't leave him.
I kept telling myself that things would get better,
but that was far from the truth,
everyday I stayed with him turned into a nightmare,
and it was killing me from the inside out.
Being abused was one thing,
but then the rape started,
with him slipping things into my drink,
or forcing himself on me.
But one day it got outta control,
and he actually video taped the act,
and that video tape destroyed my life,
and it killed me even more inside.
But still I couldn't`t find the strength to leave him,
I told everyone that I loved him and cared,
I protected him and myself,
until the day I just couldn't do it anymore.
I was tired of all the abuse I had gone through,
I was only 15 and my life seemed to be ending,
I had rules about what I could wear and who I could see,
and all of this just didn't seem fair.
I always knew that what he was doing was wrong,
but I never forced myself to leave,
I was far to afraid of what he would do,
what he would say to people.
But then one day another boy walked into my life,
a boy who listened to the story until the end,
a boy who gave me the strength to leave him,
and who gave the strength to be here today.
I learned the hard way that abuse is wrong,
and that no one should ever have to live through it,
and that no matter how much you think you love someone,
you can not put up with the abuse !
The boy that saved me from myself and the other boy,
the boy who gave me the strength ,
today is boyfriend of a year and four months,
and I couldn't`t be happier.
The things that happened all the rape and abuse,
they still haunt my dreams and kill me inside,
but as days go by its easier to deal with,
and one day the pain will all just fade away.
I hope no girl ever has to go through that pain,
no girl ever has to be that afraid of a man,
because men are put on this earth to protect us,
that aren't out here to hurt us !
