I Heard That You're a Heartbreaker.

A radiant smile so addictive, enticed an innocent girl, <<<such a inviting and descriptive opening!

desperate to be loved, she fell for those sweet words.<<oh boy....this sounds familiar !

Opened her heart to the world, spilling out every speck<<great image here you worded it perfectly!

of passion that was kept within her full and exposed soul<<interesting thought here..

continued to fall deeply into his trap of lies until she broke.<<so many girls will be able to relate to this and that is such an important thing!

Once sweet words spoken, turned instantly into terrible deceit.<<..guys do not understand the effect they have on us honestly.

Every single lie immersed in poison affected her heart's entirety,<<again great vocabulary! it is refreshing to read something complex

resulting in nothing but pain and shattered pieces lying everywhere.<<another familiar feeling : / to many people know this all to well

She realized everything was fake, nothing was real, especially not<<Not what?! and why do guys have to disguise themselves?! be who you are people! honestly ! ((great wording it just got me fired up))

that smirk that was plastered onto his face of untrustworthiness.<<i do not know one girl who doesn't love a good smile on a guy! great ending though!

amazing poem!! 5/5

Great free flow and deep emotion. The poem describes a broken heart to the letter as well as the trap set by a heartbreaker
well done

Hiya! I think this is the first time I've commented on any of your poems, and I've heard you are such a great writer, so here goes! =)

Stanza 1:
"A radiant smile so addictive, enticed an innocent girl,
desperate to be loved, she fell for those sweet words.
Opened her heart to the world, spilling out every speck
of passion that was kept within her full and exposed soul
continued to fall deeply into his trap of lies until she broke."

-- Wow, I really love the words used to describe the type of girl, "innocent", and also the way you described 'his trap of lies'. very well done. I really like the flow of this stanza, as it isn't rushed, or forced to rhyme/syllables to match.. etc. very well done.
At first, I didn't understand what was happenning, but after I got the the 4th and 5th line, I understood like magic, as I think, so far you have the tendacy and the gift to allow the reader tap into your mind, and see you what you see -- feel how you feel.
well done! =)

Stanza 2:
"Once sweet words spoken, turned instantly into terrible deceit.
Every single lie immersed in poison affected her heart's entirety,
resulting in nothing but pain and shattered pieces lying everywhere.
She realized everything was fake, nothing was real, especially not
that smirk that was plastered onto his face of untrustworthiness."

-- wow. the words you use are just soo strong, and so powerful. not only a few words here and there jump out at me, but the whole stanza does. everything is explained to concisely, and with such little amount of words used, but it leaves such a strong meaning, and explains like a whole paragraph for just the one line. Very well done!
I really like this story line, as I'm sure alot of girls have been there before, and have heard those 'words', and believed his lies, and which is part of the reason why we all connect to such a beautiful poem.

Very well done. Definately a 5 / 5.

All the best..

- Nicole
xox

I'm going to split this into two parts:

Langage

Adjectives are overrated:
"Every single lie immersed in poison affected her heart's entirety,"
Poison lies affect her heart's entirety
Or something like that.
I understand that "every single" has more power, but you don't need every line to feel so.. powerful?
Really what I'm trying to say is be careful how you dress up your words. Personally, the greatest things I've read use such simple phrases but in different ways to make you think.
Although it's good to see that you can encorperate an extensive vocabulary into your poetry, it does make it more interesting for the reader.

With your last line, the smirk; aren't smirks usually coy? I always assumed that smirks are a symbol untrustworthiness, regardless of who wears one.

Message

I like the title, although I do feel the poem let the title down a little, I thought this would be some form of bitter smackdown or something. Anyway. It's a good thing you have language because this was another one of those "he left me shattered" poems. A bit of a let down. I know there are some outstanding poems on this topic on this site, but they use more original metaphors not
"resulting in nothing but pain and shattered pieces lying everywhere."

Sorry. This is really harsh, I honestly don't think the poem was as bad as this comment makes it sound =/

You have the form down, the vocabulary in the right spots, just focus more on the phrases in future?

I'll give this a 4/5.

jess ~

I find that the places you break your lines are awkward , because you automatically pause in between . You should make sure that there is at least a comma or something that causes for a slight pause at the point where you break . The imagery is excellent , and it's overall very easy to relate to . Despite the small issue , I still give it 5/5