The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest ( Shadorma)

by Ingrid   Dec 5, 2008


Scorching hot
Passion burns me up
I want you
You are hers
Crave you like an animal
Come take me tonight

Written for a club contest.

A shadorma is a non-rhyming verse of six lines with a strict syllable count of 3,5,3,3,7,5. There can be more than one verse as long as the syllable count remains the same.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello, Ingrid.

    As Michael says, it is nice to browse your back catalogue. I like to as you don't post a lot, but I still want to comment on your work, so it satisfies that itch!
    A poem filled with burning lust and a longing for a passion that is forbidden. And how right you are - we always want what we can't have because the forbidden fruit is the sweetest!
    All the very best and stay well,
    Ben

    • 8 years ago

      by Ingrid

      Thank you, Ben.

      There are so many poems in my head, but none coming out. I hope this will change soon again! :)

      All the best and thank you for reading my stuff,

      Ingrid

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Ingrid,

    sometimes I browse your back catalogue, just to touch base with you.

    This form is new to me and one I may try in the future?

    The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest
    ^
    The title tells a tale, like concentrated version on the text below.

    Scorching hot
    Passion burns me up
    ^
    this introduction leaps straight into the 'passion' that feeling of overwhelming desire - heart racing and pulse thumping. Vision and mind becomes focused like the centre of a flame. 'hot'

    I want you
    You are hers
    ^
    this is excellent. Wanting somebody else's partner. Wanting what we should not want, or indeed, wanting a 'forbidden' pleasure makes it all the more difficult. It is fuelled by jealousy... Why should she have the pleasure? What has she got that I have not? And then, well, I am going to take what I want!!!

    Crave you like an animal
    Come take me tonight
    ^
    I like this, like an animal, primeval and reducing instinct to a primitive state. Man needs woman, but in this case woman needs man desperately, and so she turns her femininity on to high, she looks at him with demanding, yet alluring eyes and says 'Come take me tonight' What man could resist? Not me! :O)

    Well done Ingrid, this form is new to me and what you have captured in just 21 words is masterful.

    Take care,

    Michael
    (((hugs)))

    • 8 years ago

      by Ingrid

      Thank you so much, dear...:)

      (((hugs)))

  • 15 years ago

    by kelleyana

    I can imagine how painful it is knbowing the one you love is in someone elses arms. Sometimes life is unfair, yet everyone has it's equal side. Very well done, kel.

  • 15 years ago

    by ilu

    WOW!!! short but beautiful!!!..thats all i can say...=)
    5/5..^_^

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    WOW! If there is someone and they read this, I am sure they will be there. (smile) Few words but to the point. Good job. 5/5

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