I Once Spilt My Milk on Purpose

Sometimes I fear I've lost;
Eye contact of souls disappeared,
Looking across tops of buildings,
Trying to find substance in words.

Funny, how 2am whispers wake me,
As though you're sending a message,
"I don't need you or anybody else",
Locked that door. Buried the key.

Stumbled my way home through diamonds,
Eyes turned from liquid to stone.
Ripped apart my chest to briefly check,
Nearly choked from ashes gushing out.

These stanzas are the ones that really stick out for me. The whole poem is filled with raw emotions..sad and touching..take care.

I started that type of comment. ^
with britt's poetry.

you did nice here. it isnt my favorite of your's. but i guess it all depends on the mood you're in.

First Stanza;; Your use of "liquid eyes" led up to fighting against the wind for me. I know sometimes when I'm trying to make my way back home, the gust is so strong I start to cry or my eyes feel like they're going to melt. I love the imagery here--I actually picture someone, scarred, torn, gasping for breath. "Fighting against the wind, For a single breath to stay." Such a beautiful metaphor--trying to stay alive and make it through when your body seems to be strangling you.

Awkward as the first kiss,
Destructive as the last,
`I can tell you have a way with words. I love that your choices are simple, nothing too abstract but they contain more than many pieces drenched in adjectives and metaphors. Yours are short, straightforward, but they hold more meaning than others. This, might just be one of the most favourite lines I've ever read in my life. The first kiss is what introduces you to a beautifully awkward world, and it's sweet, but the most recent one leaves you in irony as what gave you love also ended it (a kiss.)

Third Stanza;; I don't know if I quite fancy the reuse of "liquid eyes" here. It works well with the sunglasses though. Hm. But I love that although you've struck a pose--living it big and just going through life on a breeze--you're hiding yourself with the shades. Makes the reader wonder, is she really happy? Because feeling the liquid eyes seep--it could be interpreted as crying, or the departure of sadness.

Fourth Stanza;; I love it. It poses the question that many that have been hurt don't seem to be able to see--did you love what they used to be or them? Or the mere idea of them that you've clung onto until now? But then you're hurt anyway, so what now?

Fifth Stanza;; I get the picture of someone standing on the tallest building in the world and just staring out into the nothingness. They're looking at the world, but it's the memories replaying in front of their eyes--but the memories are brushing past them (hence, eye contact of souls disappearing--the person's being one of them.) Beautiful metaphor. Heartbreaking imagery.

Sixth Stanza;; the use of "buried" ... It makes me feel like, although they locked the door, they still want the key to be found. If it's buried, there's still the possibility. Intentional? *shrugs. Just thought it was an interesting choice.

though diamonds,
`I think you meant through

Eyes turned from liquid to stone.
Ripped apart my chest to briefly check,
Nearly choked from ashes gushing out.
`Holy [insert crude expression here.]!
Here I get the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul--your soul used to be free, flowing and clear. Then it started to leak. And now it's frozen. Nothing can get in and nothing can get out. All you can do it break the stone, shatter it--the way whoever hurt you has metaphorically done already. And the image of ashes gushing out... Oh, man. Wonderfully done. Phenomenal ending.

..__MiNDYY