Comments : After

  • 16 years ago

    by Minkus

    That's pretty accurate. I really wrote it just going off of this one image in my head, and I just expanded on that until I felt like it was done. You're right that it's kind of vague, because I didn't mean anything exact by it; I just intended to create a "sense," a feeling. That's what I like to do with a lot of my poetry.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    I want to show you something
    that you've never seen
    or imagined before:
    The world is orange on gray.
    ^^oh snap!!! love the last line it was random and not explained yet so it was a clincher!

    Only a dusted, finished tiger's colors,
    without the plush
    ^^ Great imagery here ! fit perfectly and was so appropriate to follow up the last stanza

    A dimming sun burns low through smog,
    a humming glow, toxic, radiating
    onto smoothed gray boulders, simple
    as chalk drawings.
    A volcanic plain but dried of the molten red flow--
    it swept this clean long ago,
    turning the last algae into smoke and ash, and so now
    nothing moves...
    only the barren wind with its dust, slowly rolling--
    This is what will last forever.
    ^^ very unique writing! you painted many pictures it wasn't scattered though it was composed and brilliant

    I loved the way you wrote this it was very different i have not read anything like it which was refreshing it was in NO way cliche and you chose your words perfectly 5/5