Comments : Curse Of Night

  • 15 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    Ok that was stranger but i've written stranger, HAHA.
    Your poem was well written , the rhyme not bad at all but i found the meter/rythm slightly off in places
    just a suggestion that might help, if you want a better flow throughout your poems, count your syllables and try and keep a similar count in each line it works quite well.
    Otherwise i thought your poems was well written and the subject matter well chosen, it kept me interested.
    Well done

    Grant

  • 15 years ago

    by Cara

    Wow, ok. i dont usually read dark poems that much, but this one was quite good.
    I agree, it was strange, but there isnt anything wrong with strange. It was interesting and different from most poems i have read, so well done.

    Your last stanza was very strong i believe, which is good for an ending in a long poem.

    It's the images left behind my lids
    From back when we were kids
    ^^ i think this is very clever. It is the images that are in your mind, in your memory, that still haunt you.. but the way you wrote that was very clever in my opinion, so well done.

    Overall, a good poem. Keep up the good work.

  • 15 years ago

    by Paiger

    Wow, you really paint quite the immagery in the readers mind, you really get us going, like a book you can't put down, you want to read it to the end. Great flow, nice use of vocabualry, always nice to not use the everyday words :)

    great job, 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by SashaMirage

    Wow you are excellent in the dark poem category. You really had me anticiapating how you would end it. The rhyming was good and the immagery was very vivid. I liked your use of vocabulary. 5/5