Depression

by xXxemzxXx   Dec 10, 2008


See its this problem i have
Deep down inside of me
Continuous foul moods
And tantrums thrown wildly

Depression does that though
Many can relate
Every thought filled
Not with love but only hate

Not of others though
Only of yourself you see,
Its a shame though
You tend to feel suicide is the only way to be free

Sure people take medication
To feel normal again
The only thing is
You get addicted and what to do you do then

People think depression is small
And they think nothing of it
Walk in my shoes people
Im sure you will love it...

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  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    See its this problem i have
    Deep down inside of me
    Continuous foul moods
    And tantrums thrown wildly

    (wow your diction is great. i love how you decscribed your problem. very deep.)

    Depression does that though
    Many can relate
    Every thought filled
    Not with love but only hate

    (good here, wouldhave liked it if you would have uses stronger diction here though)

    Not of others though
    Only of yourself you see,
    Its a shame though
    You tend to feel suicide is the only way to be free

    (The flow is a little off in this stanza, but I can relate to you)

    Sure people take medication
    To feel normal again
    The only thing is
    You get addicted and what to do you do then

    (Nice, makes me feel like I'm reading a book)

    People think depression is small
    And they think nothing of it
    Walk in my shoes people
    Im sure you will love it...

    (Great ending, not as powerful as the start, but good. keep it up. Shanik).

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