Nice title first off.

In the first stanza, I love the imagery, but I am not fond of the oceans holding the beach part. It just doesnt sit right with me. Normally the ocean and the beach are side by side, I just didnt like the HOLDING part. Otherwise the first stanza is great.

The second stanza is quite shorter than the first one, which kind of affected the flow a little. Maybe thats just me being picky though. The rhyme between TO and YOU seems forced; I dont think you can end a sentence with the word TO (I think its a preposition). This happens again in the fifth stanza as well. If I am wrong there, I apologize in advance.

In stanza 6, I would suggest changing out KIDS for CHILDREN. It seems to fit the poem better. The poem is great and very mature for a younger writer, and this switch out would help the line sound more mature.

In the last 4 stanzas, the word YOU is repeated a lot. I would try to avoid using it at all if you can.

What a great closing stanza, very well written.

Overall, the flow was great and the rhyming was smooth. I will give a 5/5, KNOWING that you will make a few small changes.

Again, this seems very mature for a younger writer. Keep it up.

Aww Tabi, you really touched my heart with this beautiful poem.
You know, we are born out of two people we call parents, but sometimes other people are more close to us then them. We find kindred spirits along our path, people who will love us without ever asking anything back. In them we see God oh, so clearly:)
Beautiful poem, sweet girl:)

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

"Imagine the ocean caressing a sandy white beach,
where the sunset would have its own stage.
Or perhaps a child rescuing a stray puppy.
The look on the animals face when it's liberated from the cage."

I love how you started of the piece with this, giving the reader images and descriptions, giving them an idea..

"These precious moments will forever struggle
to everyday pursue measuring up to
the enticing rare beauty and breathless joy
shining in this world because of you."

Beautiful lines that lead up to the last one, showing your gratitude toward her..

"Unexpectedly, you were unmercifully entwined
with a fate you neither welcomed or choose.
Something far worse than loosing a job
or not being able to afford some clothes."

First two lines are written perfectly, it shows that horror that she must of gone through when her parents died, and that she shouldn't have gone through.
Third line: "loosing" should be "losing".

"It was lurking around the corner,
but did not make itself known.
Delivered in a ruthless way.
Something thats not aloud to be postponed."

What touching lines, that really give the reader a sense of what happened, and how heart-breaking it was...

"Resentment and confusion,
anticipated emotions to arise.
No one should be forced to
say that type of goodbye."

That's so true, even the worst things happen to the best people in your life, and you're wondering how could this have happened, what did she do to deserve it?

"Your children look up to you,
see someone who is strong and wise.
It kills them to see you in a
hurt state, with water filled eyes."

Again, great emotion that seems to lighten my heart when I read this kindful dedication..

"Life has thrown a curve ball,
but you will make it through.
You posses amazing children and a loving husband.
Never will you be abandoned, you have me too."

This stanza really shows the strong bond and relationship you two have, and that through thick and thin, you guys will always be there for each other, that you'll never leave her..

"You have a loving family and close friends.
You will make it through this as a family, together.
You are not alone with these agonizing feelings.
You will not be worn down by this cruel weather."

Repeating the "you"s in this stanza really didn't grab my attention that much, just because you kept saying "you are" and "you will", maybe try saying this instead:

"Cruel weather will not wear you down"

Or just switching words around and not using "you" so often. Just an opinion though...

"I will keep you in my prayers,
every morning and night.
Just please remember, you
are not alone in this fight."

Perfect ending, the rhyming was excellent and how you'll always pray for her, just touched my heart. I love the ending line "you are not alone in this fight", wow, that is truly a powerful line and meaningful statement. This shows how much you love her and adore her, that you'd do anything for her, and opposite. Your writing touched me so deep and shows all the act of love and friendship. Its so good you have such an amazing person to look up too..I hope she is doing better, and keep writing!

It is nice of you to write this for her. I am sure she is proud of you and how nice it is that you have someone you can turn to. Good work. 5/5

Hopefully you don't mind me presenting my comments in short form:
Loved the first stanza--great imagery
proofread: choose -> chose
proofread: aloud -> allowed
Second stanza gave contextual meaning/relevance to the first
"hurt state" is awkward
rock through the cyclone: great metaphor
"worn down by this cruel weather" = good connection back to cyclone
Overall, this was a very heartfelt and well-done poem. Hopefully it has been effective and everything's all right.

Poems of sorrow mean a lot when they are for someone special. i liked the your choice of words, poems are better when you have to stop every so often and think about what you just read.

It was lurking around the corner,
but did not make itself known.
Delivered in a ruthless way.
Something thats not aloud to be postponed.
-the way that you said this made it seem more ominous and threatening.

We are here,
you're not alone.
We will together become
your rock through the cyclone.
-and this part was the most powerful for me. simple choice of words, yet effective.

I will keep you in my prayers,
every morning and night.
Just please remember, you
are not alone in this fight.
- the ending is the most important part, words are most powerful here, you did a great job.

5/5

This is truly great. I love the analogy of "your rock through a cyclone" that is beautiful. It first brings the question of why that makes sense because in a literal form you would wonder why that applies to a person but then you realize it's saying that you "hold this person down" during the tough times. A wonderful use of a great metaphor. The rhyme scheme is great and you definitely make it work through the entire poem. My only complaint is that the flow gets a little choppy at times because your meter is rather varied in this piece but I still enjoyed it quite a lot. Excellent write 5/5

I like they way you set the tone for this poem though it was meant for someone you love that was lost, you set it in a very peaceful and calming manner which was indeed a delightful to read. I believe if she had read this poem, she would be delighted too to hear tt it was written from you, a daughter that was bind not by flesh and blood but with the heart

Excellent Job
5/5 from me

From the title to the poem, it just wondetrful. I think you'd made a great tribute to your friend mom. Sometimes we'd great person who came in our lives and means so much to us as if they are our own blood. Very well done as usual. It merits 5/5, keep it up, kel.

This inspiring and beautiful even lifted my spirit though the personal touches were obvious they did not make the read any less enjoyable

May God bless you

The words you use give the poem more of an emotion!
you write so emotionally and as is the poem is a story it paints a picturein my head!
your an awesome poem writter keep it up!